I hate saying I told you so.
I didn't turn on local sports radio today because the pills stop me from hating myself as much, so I don't know if anyone in Philadelphia pitched this same insane idea. But thanks to Florio, it's out there and I'm sure we'll see it again soon. Most likely from him.
In Koren's defense, his hairsylist and barber are very talented.
Friday, May 9, 2008
I HATE SAYING I TOLD YOU SO
4TH ESTATE GRAFFITI: THE RETURN OF THE CHIEF?
by The Chief, Hugging Harold Reynolds
He's an enigmatic character. But the chief finally decided to grace us with another MLB Power Ranking. And look out. He brought the Fonz and the Impaler. Tough guys only, please.
Click the image to read it, genius.
MARK THE TIME
by Tracer Bullet, Staff Writer
At 4:35 p.m. EST, the Wisconsin Journal-Sentinal reported that the Packers cut WR/KR Koren Robinson. I figure the first suggestion that the Eagles should give him a shot will come before 6 p.m.
When it becomes clear the Eagles won't sign him (because he's a drunk with a bad knee), expect to hear howls that Andy Reid should be fired by, oh, let's say Tuesday.
THE AFTER PARTY
Battling for the Blogosphere: StripeHype vs. The Bengals. (Gate 21)
Baseball's All-Time Dirtiest Players. (Maxim)
About that Mark Buehrle contract extension... (Home Run Derby)
Lenny Dykstra, unlikely investment guru. (Steroid Nation)
Shelley Duncan is constantly hearing the Undertaker's music. (The Sports Hernia)
The Phillies should deal Ryan Howard. (I'm Writing Sports)
Is Tony Romo the Anti-Christ? (Rumors and Rants)
Cedric Benson's booking video. (Docksquad)
What the heck is wrong with the Cavaliers? (Waiting For Next Year)
WWE Diva Ashley no longer denying the escort story. (Wrestling News Desk)
Best Use of Photoshop Award: Cuzoogle
PLAYOFF BEARD: BENCH PLAYERS DO SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON A BIKE
by Neate Sager, Out Of Left Field
It's been a good week for whipping up storylines are only tangentially related to actual games on the ice. Feel free to consider that compensation for the reality that the Detroit Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup seems all but a fait accompli and that's it taking way too long to reach the conclusion.
Let's see. In the space of a couple days, there have been numerous Neufbert sightings, a not-so-scandalous revelation that a Philadelphia Flyers player counts a Hells Angel among his friends and Canada (population of 33 million) almost hit a new Oslo in international hockey when it barely beat Norway (population 4.75 million) at the World Championship. Good times.
Oh, and not that anyone outside Southern Ontario really cares as much as the Canadian media would have you believe, but the Toronto Maple Leafs fired their coach. Let's not waste our creativy unearthing that old joke about how the Leafs have a new coach from Korea by the name of Win One Soon. It all seems designed to keep people paying attention to hockey long after the last snow melted.
It's hard to believe that a class organization such as the Hells Angels would associate with a member of the Philadelphia Flyers.
The Winnipeg Sun reported today that Philly enforcer Riley Cote has a known member of the biker, uh, association as one of his top friends on his MySpace page and displays a logo supporting the Angels. That kind of flies in the face of all that folderol about how athletes are supposed to be role models, and such.
This might have come to light a lot sooner if anyone worth knowing actually still used MySpace, but that's neither here nor there.
The gadawful techno music on Cote's page notwithstanding, it's worth a visit just to see that the Philly knuckle-draggers have more or less proven that PhotoShop is the 21st-century answer to crayons.
Oh, I get it.Sidney Crosby is a woman, thus he's a lower form of human being. That's so witty. Stop, Flyers fans. Our sides are splitting.
Away, without Leafs: There's not much that hasn't been said about the Toronto Maple Leafs (the team I follow, because of, geographical convenience, mainly) canning coach Paul Maurice on Wednesday.
Maurice will be missed just for the way he talked to reporters. When he was contacted on Wednesday morning, the day he was fired, Maurice said he was picking up his kids from school because he wanted them to hear the news from him and "not from the TV." Anyone who still refers to it as "the TV," tells the assembled media, "calm down, it’s just the pre-season, have a cup of tea and relax" and describes the Ottawa Senators' gladitorial prowess as a "little bit of purse-swinging," should be kept around. Post-game press conferences will be a lot less fun next season.
Neufbert: The photos of Calgary's Cro-Magnon heartthrob, Flames defenceman Dion Phaneuf and actress Elisha Cuthbert hanging out in Hawai'i remove all doubt as to why he passed on playing for Canada at the World Hockey Championship.
Please don't be immature and joke that that this makes TSN/NBC hockey analyst Pierre McGuire jealous -- of Cuthbert, not Phaneuf. (McGuire's somewhat Dick Vitale-esque shtick tends to involve a lot of Phaneufellating.)
Far be it to suggest that Hawai'i is nicer at this time of year than Halifax, Nova Scotia, which offers plenty of charms, all of them involving bar bands covering Barrett's Privateers.
Attaway, Norway: For the record, my epiphany that rooting against one's own country in international sports was fun pre-dates Will Leitch wrote an essay entitled "Why It's American To Root Against the U.S.A." in his book, God Save The Fan.
It first hit home in 1998, when the Canadian juniors lost to Kazakhstan. It happened again in February 2002, during the Olympic women's hockey tournament, when Finland actually managed to take a lead over Canada in the second period of the semi-final (Canada scored like five goals in the third period and beat Team USA for the gold medal a couple days later). This country is the bully of world in hockey. It's the largest country where hockey is the No. 1 sport, so it should dominate.
That meant pulling for Norway, which was outshot 52-17 before losing 2-1 to Canada yesterday, to somehow pull off a victory. Sorry, but they just seemed pretty jazzed up about the prospect of puncturing the myth of Canadian invincibility. When Mads Hansen scored an unlikely goal -- short-handed, on a breakaway after Duncan Keith lost the puck without being pressured -- it seemed like destiny. It wasn't, but still, it was fun to see our millionaire pros have to sweat it out. Norway played like it was a defining moment; the Canadians were worried about getting razzed by their buddies when they go to the cottage this summer.
Right, still four more weeks of hockey: The Red Wings skated around the Dallas Stars like they were just props in Disney On Ice in Game 1 of the West final last night. Detroit might drop a game in this series, but it will just be one.
A Detroit Stanley Cup would be something to rub in the faces of all the Canucks who cling to the myth that European players are fragile like it was the winning ticket in tonight's Super 7 draw. Every year, when the Ottawa Senators or Toronto Maple Leafs, captained by Swedes Daniel Alfredsson and Mats Sundin for the past several years, lose out, you always have to listen to some Don Cherry wannabe go on about how, "a team with a European captain is never going to win the Stanley Cup."
Detroit is going to do it, and Nik Lidstrom will get the Cup, and that should shut the Philistines up, although it probably won't.
In the East, the Flyers probably can't beat the Pittsburgh Penguins with Kimmo Timonen, one of their best defenders, out of the lineup. The Penguins might spit the bit a couple times in this series, but should win in six games -- bear in mind that's a prediction with no research whatsoever. Sidney Crosby will be in the Cup final, not that it will help U.S. TV ratings one bit.
Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.
DEAR MAJOR LEAGUE GMS
by Simon, SimonOnSports
Dear MLB GMs,
Alright guys, this is getting old, we're over a month into the season and I still haven't gotten a single phone call. I called up Cingular just to make sure my phone was still in service and it is, so its not there fault. The only one calling me is that little kid, see little kids love Barry Bonds, so why don't you. Do you all not like children?
I mean, Seattle you realize that Jose Vidro and Richie Sexson suck right? You know that your team is playing like complete crap? Did you see how big of a scumbag Sexson was last night or were you not paying attention because he is so bad that you need to leave the room when he gets up to the plate.
Hey Yankees you know who can play first base? Me. I turned on the tv yesterday and saw you batting Shelley Duncan in the 4 hole. Are you serious? I wouldn't let Shelley Duncan wipe my ass. He sucks so hard I wouldn't want him to contiminate my beautiful swing. And let's be honest, there is no possible way I would suck at playing first base more than admitted steroid user Jason Giambi. Plus I won't hit under .200. You want to win the division or no?
Cleveland, you realize Hafner is washed up right? And your playing some guy named Ben Francisco? Half your team is hitting under .220, it's time to put some force back into your lineup.
Oakland you seriously decided to sign Frank Thomas instead of me? He's fat old and completely washed up. I live in the Bay area, don't you want to steal some thunder away from your local competition. Don't you actually want to put seats in the crowd? It certainly doesn't appear like you do.
Seriously, what the fuck. You all need me you know it I know it America knows it. I'm not that big of a dirt bag. I took steroids because my trainer didn't tell me what he was giving to me. And who the fuck cares about that anyway, half god damn league took steroids and you guys have no problem signing them even if they suck. Giambi is shit. Mota is shit. Cameron is pill popper. Sheff is hitting about .122. Fuck someone call me or I'm just going to show up in your god damn offices and start smashing shit.
You're All Pissing Me the Fuck Off,
Barry Bonds
SHAQ TO PREDATORS: STEP AWAY FROM THE NET
by The Sports Diva, TSD Magazine
I wondered what Shaq was going to do about his love for the shield after leaving Miami for Arizona. Now I know. Shaq and the Tempe Police Department have come together to make the Internet Crimes Against Children unit.
Shaq had worked with both the Los Angeles and Miami police departments and is in training to become a reserve officer for the Tempe police department.
"Shaq specializes in these Internet crimes, and he is mainly about education, both for young people and for parents," Ryff said. "His message to kids is about the dangers of the net and his message to parents is about proper supervision of their children using the Internet." (AZCentral.com)The purpose of this program is to help keep the predators and the children far, far away from each other. He is going to speak to both the children and the parents about internet safety. Shaq also has expertise in "forensic computer investigator".
With Shaq being apart of this unit, will this help keep more children safe in Tempe Arizona? I mean, do you really want to try to lure a 13 year old girl to a house and go in to find Shaq standing there? The Dateline guy is one thing but would you not piss your pants to see someone with the stature of Shaq standing there waiting for you? A guy who sort of has a disease named after him. Shaq-teria them all, Shaq. Shaq-teria them all.
SEPTEMBER 13TH CAN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH
by WCT, The Ship of Fools
You know what makes sports great? Besides the actual on-the-field action that we all love to watch, we have subplots. Every so often, an interesting storyline plays out leading up to an event that makes fans like me salivate in anticipation. And in my opinion, the best kind of subplot is one that is created by some good old fashioned coach trash-talk. And even though its only May, some nice coach trash-talkin' can make you long for the brisk Saturday afternoons of September.
Such was the case this week, when Michigan Wolverine fans became apoplectic after Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis sent a few verbal shots across their collective bow. Weis said that after ND "makes a statement" in their season opener against San Diego State, he an his team will have to "listen to Michigan have all their excuses as they come running in, saying how they have a new coaching staff (under Rich Rodriguez) and those changes." Ending his monologue with a terse "to hell with Michigan!"
I have to say, I for one, am loving this new, no-nonsense, 2008 version of Charlie Weis. Already this off-season he has discussed his refusal to win by "recruiting hoodlums" (some USC fans saw this as a dig at their program), and his disgust for Michigan's "excuses." All while completely shoving San Diego State aside by calling that match-up a "statement" game. Steve Spurrier at his best didn't talk this much smack during the off-season.
In the world of the oversensitive college football fan, these latest statements launched Wolverine fans into a tizzy, and made fans like me (without a dog in this particular fight) eager for September 13, when these two teams finally get it on.
TOP 10 CHILDHOOD SPORTS HATREDS
by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
Hi, my name's DMtShooter, and I hate.
Every longtime sports fan has childhood villains, and these are mine. For the most part, they also existed in a time before fantasy sports, so the hate was even more pure. Add your own in the comments.
10. Reijo Ruotsalainen. A magical elf of an NHL defensemen who would, with maddening regularity, show up in the playoffs just in time to utterly destroy my Philadelphia Flyers. Later on in life, I stopped watching hockey entirely, but in the early '80s, "Rexy" would do everything short of nailing the triple Lutz as heavy-legged thuggish Flyers defensemen would fail utterly to stop him in any way. (Then, of course, he'd do little in the rest of the playoffs, because he was our own special, personal nightmare.) Later on, he won the Cup twice with Edmonton, the first time beating... the Flyers. Yes, he was that deadly.
9. Von Hayes. Philadelphia fans get a deserved rap for only liking players who look like they are killing themselves with effort. What isn't really specified is why we're this way. Part of it is never being able to accept Mike Schmidt for what he was. The other part is Von Hayes.
Famous for being dealt to the Phils from Cleveland for five players (one of which turned out to be, gulp, Julio Franco), Von toiled for 9 long years in Philadelphia, in which he provided sabermetrically pleasant but utterly meaningless numbers as the low-impact cornerpiece of a Phillies team that never went to the playoffs with him around. Hayes was a patient 5-tool left-handed hitter who could do anything on the field... and never, ever did enough.
Plus, and here's the kicker: After Hayes finally had his breakout year, I drafted him way too high in one of my first fantasy leagues... only to watch him suck. So he killed my real team, my fantasy team, and any pleasure you might have in watching baseball. But hey, the swing looked good. Especially as he was looking at a called strike three.
8. Bill Laimbeer. The sneering ringleader of the thuggish Pistons teams was actually an effective player, with a reliable jumper and good rebounding. But no one outside of Detroit will remember anything other than the fact that he was a complete and utter dirtbag who seemed to enjoy hurting people, and really was miscast as a basketball player.
In a more perfect world, Laimbeer would have been a heel wrestler, mugging to the crowd and puling to the refs. He would have needed no mic skills or persona; nuns would have paid money to scream for his blood. Special points for pioneering the clear plastic monster mask to protect a well-deserved broken nose. We're talking about a guy that even the mascots singled out.
7. Donald Trump. So many people hate the Donald for reasons of taste or human decency, but my ire is pure for a 25-year-old sports reason. Because it was Trump who, for no reason other than his own peerless vanity, insisted that the USFL move from the spring to the fall... and it was the USFL where Philadelphia had a well-run, class of the league franchise.
The Stars had Sam Mills and Kelvin Bryant, Jim Mora and Carl Peterson, Irv Eatman and Sean Landeta, Bart Oates and more, more, more. Trump's New Jersey Generals had Doug Flutie, Herschel Walker and a boot print in the ass that had a Stars' logo on it.
And ever since, there has not been good, unpolluted football that played by real rules and had real talent... in the spring and especially early summer, when we all could sorely use it. Bastard.
6. Lawrence Taylor. Come on, he had to be offside! Can't you morons block him? Mix in a screen! Chop block him! Just don't... drop Ron Jaworski back to pass in the same seven step drop that he always used, then watch him move up in the pocket at the last moment, but not fast enough to avoid Taylor taking him down with ridiculous speed. It would get to the point where, as an Eagles fan, I just wanted to see them punt on third down. (Oh, and of course Taylor wound up getting championship rings. Of freaking course.)
5. Willie Stargell. The Pirates' first baseman and lefty slugger was the ringleader of the "We Are Fam-A-Lee" '79 Pirates, who not ony beat out my Phillies for the division, they also went on to win a World Series with a triumph over the Orioles.
So not only were they irritating, and not only did their success mean that disco had power, but it also meant that the reason my team couldn't win was because they weren't a fam-a-lee. Blissfully, the Phillies broke through in the next year, ending the possibility of copycat disco. Phew.
4. Izel Jenkins. The weak link cornerback for the best defense in Eagles history, he was nicknamed "Toast" for a reason by the faithful. Perhaps he was actually a decent player and just was in an impossible situation; it just didn't matter. Everyone else on this defense had a role, value and highlights. Jenkins had a target on his back, and an eternal role as The Scapegoat.
3. Larry Bird. Here's how you know you're an unrepentant Sixers fan. You'd rather have Erving instead of Bird for your all-time NBA team, even though you know that Doc really wasn't as good. (Oh, and you also played the EA Sports Erving vs. Bird game a million times, never as Bird, and only stopped playing the game when Doc pulled off the 256-0 squeaker, in a game where Doc blocked Bird's shot 50 times, and also broked a dozen blackboards on Larry's vile head. Yes, I have issues.)
2. Jimmy Johnson. The fact that he's employed to continue to bray like a jackass on my television is the proof that evil exists in our world, and that good men will continue to be vexed each and every day for this side of the grave. (And sure, if you'd rather go with Smith, Aikman, Irvin or Jones here, I can't really stop you.)
1. Harold Katz. The last owner of a major league area franchise to actually win their way through the playoffs was also an unrelenting tool who traded away Charles Barkley for garbage, and moved the right to Brad Daughtery for... even more utter garbage. We won't even get into drafting Shawn Bradley. Yes, that's how bad he was -- drafting Shawn Bradley isn't his worst mistake. Wow. And this is the last guy who won. Yes, it's been a fun 25 years.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
THE PROPHET'S THURSDAY TAPOUT: WHY I HATE THE MEDIA EDITION
by The Prophet, The Savage Science
When my last CD was out, you wasn't bumpin meI'll be back on a regular schedule with my Thursday Tapouts before long. Like my man Dr. Dre I've "been in the lab wit a pen and a pad trying to get this damn label off" or more specifically in front of my computer trying to get the MMA Deathstar known as THE SAVAGE SCIENCE up to its full potency. In some ways I envy Darth Vader, the bossman of the original DeathStar. Not so much for when Luke took his helmet off and there he was lookin' like Uncle Fester from "The Adams Family". I'm talking about in the first movie where he's trying to find Princess Leia and he chokes out that Rebel captain. He does it later to one of his own supplicants who dares to question his authority. That's what I envy, but we'll get back to this in just a moment. Since much of this week's column focuses on the Japanese MMA scene we'll go with a picture of one of that country's best imports...
But now that I got this little company
Everybody wanna come to me like it was some disease
But you won't get a crumb from me
Cause I'm from the streets of (Compton, Compton)
I told em all - all them little gangstas
Who you think helped mold 'em all?
Now you wanna run around talkin bout guns like I ain't got none
What you think I sold 'em all?
Cause I stay well off
Now all I get is hate mail all day sayin Dre fell off
What cause I been in the lab wit a pen and a pad tryin to get this damn label off?
Anyway, back to the Darth Vader thing--the biggest pain in the ass is trying to get everyone to do what they're supposed to do. I don't ask for much--I just want my supplicants to produce and produce on schedule. I've tried being nice, I've tried being harsh and its still a bitch getting anything done. I'm huge in the fightsport journalism community--to make a comparison to something all of you people know about (no, not the competitive tractor pull circuit) I'm like Jay-Z or Frank Sinatra in the fightsport journalism community. Still, I'm not above the law and I just can't run around choking out supplicants that disappoint me. I wish I could roll like my man Darth Vader.....here he is takin' care of business in the first Star Wars movie. Geeks, I know its *really* 'Episode IV' but it was the first one to come out way back in the day before George Lucas became batshit crazy:
That's the way to manage employees. Still, Vader wasn't a guy to rest on his laurels. He would later develop his choke out skills to an even greater extent as this footage demonstrates:
Now THAT is badass...he's not in the same room with the dude, not even in the same area code most likely and he chokes the mofo out with his psychic bad-assedry. It's like he has a GPS on it or something as there's not any hesitation whatsoever, like there would be if he had to figure out where the dude was--he just takes unruly control of the situation. That's the kind of power that I need.
Making matters worse, the mainstream sports media is really chapping my ass at the moment....we'll talk about that in our next section:
THE MAINSTREAM SPORTS MEDIA IS REALLY CHAPPING MY ASS:
Actually, that's not really true--I'm not *mad* at them or anything, I'm more incredulous at their sanctimonious stupidity. Every time something like this happens I'm reminded of Bob Costas' "You bloggers suck" tirade awhile back. If you don't remember this there's definitely something about it on the site. Basically, Costas went on a Biggie-on-Tupac type dis-fest, calling bloggers weak ass G's who couldn't carry his jock. He went on to brag about all of the bitches he's turned out and all of the paper he's holdin'. In other words, Bobby C impugned the credibility of the sports blogging community relative to his compatriots in what I nominally call "mainstream" sports media.
That notion of "credibility" is at the forefront of my current gripe. This does require a bit of backstory. As most of you are probably aware by now, the EliteXC MMA promotion signed a deal with CBS a while back. This was significant in that they were the first fight sport promotion of any type with a regularly scheduled major network prime time TV deal since "The Gillette Cavalcade of Sports". They're airing the first EliteXC show on 5/31 featuring YouTube street fighter turned MMA rock star Kimbo Slice and the comely Gina Carano (whom I understand has recently become engaged to the proprietor of this website) and its received a lot of coverage not only in the fight sports media but in mainstream advertising and broadcasting type outlets.
While the deal was put together by CBS President and CEO Les Moonves, it didn't make Executive Chairman Sumner Redstone very happy. I'm not at all buying that Redstone has ever seen *mixed martial arts* any more than he's seen an erection since the Eisenhower Administration. That didn't stop the Montgomery Burns-like Redstone from taking Moonves to task for bringing MMA to CBS. That's neither here nor there, but my gripe began when the President of Fox Sports removed his lips from Redstone's backside long enough to utter the following:
But Ed Goren, president of Fox Sports, was more direct, telling an audience of 200 that he didn’t pursue a relationship with ultimate fighting because, “We don’t need money that badly.”
For the network that brought us "Cops" and "When Animals Attack" to suggest that they've got "standards" is bad enough. If ut pulled ratings numbers and advertisers they'd be airing live donkey shows from Tiujana. But here's where my problem begins--Fox Sports has aired a *ton* of MMA over the past few years. The FoxSportsNet (FSN) network has aired PRIDE highlight shows hosted by Jay Glazer for a number of years. They've also aired the IFL and, in fact, they've got an IFL show on FSN today (at least here in the Pacific Northwest). I still stand by my original speculation that none of the big MMA groups are returning Fox's phone calls at the moment, but regardless of what you think or don't think about MMA for Goren to suggest that Fox is taking the moral high ground is completely disingenuous and sanctimonious. This statement is as absurd as Hugh Hefner sanctimoniously suggesting that his magazine doesn't publish nude women. My guess is that he was trying to butt smack the powerful Redstone and was willing to say anything to curry favor.
In addition, Fox Sports website has a *ton* of MMA coverage much the same way that virtually every other mainstream sports site has tried to hop on the bandwagon. What really pisses me off is what a bad job they do with it. Here's the latest example--at the first of the week the Japanese MMA promotion DREAM announced that Nick Diaz would be fighting on their May 11th show. The following day, EliteXC president Gary Shaw--who holds Diaz's US contract--put the kibosh on the fight. This had become well known throughout the MMA world, but on Wednesday FoxSports posted a story about Diaz fighting on the DREAM card. In other words, they posted a story that had already become outdated as by that point Diaz had been *off* of the Japanese show for over a day. 24 hours later--or 3 days after Diaz had been pulled from the show--they finally reported this fact. That story was accurate for a few hours, since late yesterday DREAM and EliteXC worked out a deal to allow Diaz to fight. So Diaz is now back *ON* the DREAM.3 show and has been for over 24 hours now, yet Fox Sports is still reporting that he's off the event.
Granted, this is a sport I know a lot about and stay on top of breaking news in. What disturbs me is that if they do such shoddy work about MMA who's to say that they don't do equally shoddy work for every other sport with a lower profile than the MLB? I don't blame Fox Sports or anyone else for jumping on the bandwagon--that's what TV networks do whether its with poker, reality shows or in this case MMA. But if they are going to cover the sport they need to at least take it seriously. Actually, I don't care if they take it seriously since they clearly don't but at least get your facts straight.
I've got extensive coverage of this over at The Savage Science if you want to check it out:
Fox Sports bigwig's sanctimonious statement @ THE SAVAGE SCIENCE
DREAM.3 LIVE COVERAGE THIS SUNDAY MORNING/LATE SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE SAVAGE SCIENCE:
We'll have live coverage of DREAM.3 direct from Tokyo this Sunday morning...actually, its more like late late Saturday night since those Japanese apparently have a different time zone and everything. Don't miss the best live fight narrative in the business--we'll get underway at 3 AM Eastern Time and 12 Midnight Pacific. Click the link below or the banner below to check it out:
DREAM.3 LIVE COVERAGE AT THE SAVAGE SCIENCE
THANKS FOR READING, VISIT THE SAVAGE SCIENCE NOW DAMMIT:
Thanks as always for reading the Tapout, and don't forget to visit us over at THE SAVAGE SCIENCE:
MMA, MAYHEM AND MORE AT THE SAVAGE SCIENCE
and check out our boxing counterparts at THE SWEET SCIENCE
THE BEST BOXING NEWS AND COMMENTARY AT THE SWEET SCIENCE
Until next time--remember the best way to avoid trouble is to NOT try to retrieve sports memorabilia at gunpoint...
THIS KID DEFINITELY PLAYED TOO MUCH GRAND THEFT AUTO IV
by T, The Angry T
I would like to go on the record and blame Rockstar games' Grand Theft Auto IV video game for this clown. Make sure you watch that video. While you watch attempt to hold back your disdain for anyone, including children, with Boston accents.
I am a relatively stable person, but after I play a few hours of Grand Theft Auto and go out in the real world, I have an itch to create havoc. I want to do donuts, go off jumps, run from the police, shoot up store-fronts and the like. I am not going to go as far as to say that the game is harmful to young children. But I will say that if a nine year old leads a police in a five state chase that ends in a 143 car pile-up, I won't be surprised.
I want to do everything in this video in real-life immediately:
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