Epic Carnival: 2003 Detroit Tiger Shane Halter Hopes to Have Comeback Season Like Carlos Pena is Having....as Soon as His Boss at Blockbuster Gives Him Some Time Off

by Violent J, The Angry T

After the All Star Break I thought it would be fun to look at the stats of some of the top sluggers in the game today. I also think its fun to play beach volleyball and lose 21-0 to a team that featured a 55 year old man and a 5 foot guy with big tits and low self esteem. (Unfortunately that actually happened last weekend.) Here are the states for some of the top power guys in the majors so far this season:

Manny Ramirez .292 HR 14 RBI 54

David Ortiz .320 HR 16 RBI 59

Albert Pujols .315 HR 20 RBI 57

Carlos Pena .296 HR 22 RBI 63

Gary Sheffield .304 HR 22 RBI 62

Carlos Lee .297 HR 18 RBI 78

Ryan Howard .260 HR 25 RBI 73

Justin Morneau .290 HR 25 RBI 76

As you can see, everybody is living up to expectations. Howard and Morneau are having solid follow up seasons. Boston’s bombers are both doing their job, Pujols is putting the Cards on his back, Carlos Pena is once again hav……..hold the phone. Carlos Pena? The same Carlos Pena who anchored that 2003 Detroit Tigers team that still gives me Nate Cornejo nightmares (I won’t tell you much, except that Nate is bald….everywhere). Pena is hitting 48 points higher then he has in any full season. He is just 6 doubles, 5 HR and 19 RBI’s from reaching career highs in each category. Oh yeah, there’s 69 games left in the season.

His ESPN projected end of the season numbers (.296 HR 41 RBI 118) Look a lot like Morneau’s last year (.321 HR 34 RBI 130). Of course projected numbers mean nothing, but it looks like Pena is at least a lock to win AL comeback player of the year.

As I Tiger’s fan, I’m actually not bitter. This of course has 99% to do with the fact that Detroit has the best record in baseball. The other 1% has to do with the kind of guy Pena was in Detroit. Sure he struck out 146 times in 142 games in 2004. And maybe he hasn’t played a full season with a team that’s won more then 72 games in a season. I mean, so what that there is this website dedicated to him that is so old, I half expected it to come in frame by frame like some 1995 porn website. On second thought, it has 100% to do with the fact that Detroit has the best record in baseball.