Best Lines From Sports Writers Today

by Kyle Smith, Doberman on the Diamond

Occasionally, sports writers do have some witty thoughts. Obviously not as witty as many in blogfrica, but let's not hold that against them. Here are some of today's best:

- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: "In case it escaped notice, Barry Bonds celebrated his 43rd birthday Tuesday. And some of his muscles turned 7."

- Joe Posnanski, K.C. Star: "'We think we have here a rogue, isolated criminal,' Stern said. OK! There’s nothing quite like having a good rogue, isolated criminal as your arbiter of the rules.

- Joel Sherman, N.Y. Post: "The Mets, as currently constituted, are good enough to beat the Pirates. But so is just about any team in the River Vale Little League."

- Bill Plaschke, L.A. Times: "You thought Rasheed Wallace was combative before this? You thought Utah Jazz fans were whiners before now? On the subject of gambling, what is the over/under on the number of minutes that pass next season before an entire arena begins chanting, 'Fix, fix, fix?'"

- Jayson Stark, ESPN.com: " Selig has been doing enough waltzing in the opposite direction from Barry to qualify for 'Dancing with the Stars.'"

- Mark Kiszla, Denver Post: "Thank you, Tim Donaghy. Do not collect your $260,000 salary as a referee with an apparent gambling itch. Proceed directly to jail, where a new uniform will be waiting. Maybe something in zebra stripes."