The Browns Have All of the Luck

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

Alot of people don't believe in fate, signs, or luck. If you're an optimist like me, you do... especially if it's good luck. But there are those that are pessimists and believe that all of the luck in the world couldn't help them. Cubs fans, Buckeye fans (hehehe), Devil Ray fans, and most importantly, Cleveland. Not just one particular franchise or sports team in the World's Largest Outdoor Toilet, but the sports scene as a whole. Whether they root for the Indians or Cavs, they know heartbreak and almost expect it. But there is one franchise that has set the standard on being the worst, and that is the Browns. They remember Tim Couch's shortcomings, the Kellen Winslow motorcycle accident, and most likely will regret the drafting of one Brady Quinn.

They could make it rain on a cloud-less day and make professional sports look amateur-ish and keep the dream of every kid alive that one day they could play in the NFL, despite how nonathletic and gifted they are. And despite all of their efforts to become a credible professional football franchise, their luck just sucks:

The Browns plan to have their locker room rebuilt and their stadium ready for Cleveland's first preseason game after a waterfall containing thousands of gallons of water and some sewage flooded the eight-year-old structure recently.

Old pipes in Cleveland's water system are largely to blame, city and stadium officials said Wednesday. Iron deposits flaked off the inside of the pipes and clogged toilet valves, causing a 160,000-gallon holding tank -- necessary for when thousands of fans go to the restrooms at halftime -- to overflow.

"Picture a waterfall," said Carl Meyer, Browns vice president of security and logistics.

Oh man. This is just beautiful.

MEMO TO BROWNS FANS:

I'm no Mrs. Cleo but uhh... this is not a good sign. You have sewage water going through your teams locker room. As if a room full of 300+ pound sweaty losers was a strong odor, add in a "waterfall" of urine and fecal matter and you've got something pungent... it really stings the nostrils. I wonder if Brady is going to be able to deal with this? I heard he likes to keep a fresh bottle of Victoria Secret's Pink in his locker to offset that raw smell of offensive lineman. I've got a feeling this isn't going to sit well with his pallet.

This story is bringing a whole new meaning to the metaphor "I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl".