Chris Chandler’s Knees Collapse While Accepting Trophy in Celebrity Golf Tourney

by The Sports Hernia

Ex-NFL QB Chris Chandler's amazing round of golf Sunday afternoon at the Tahoe Celebrity Golf Tournament quickly turned into a fiasco during the trophy presentation. With a look of confidence and a smile reeking vindication, tourney winner Chandler marched up to the podium to accept his trophy and, while possibly getting caught up in the emotion, the fragile, bag-'o-bones grabbed the 9oz. glory statue and raised it above his head with all his might.

Within seconds of doing so, the bubble quite literally burst as the crowd was subjected to multiple gruesome ‘pops’ emanating from Chandler’s body as he began to crumble, eerily similar to an elaborate 4th of July fireworks show. The awful sounds of both knees collapsing and the snapping of various tendons could be heard all the way to the 11th hole where other golfers were still playing.

“It was out of control man,” said Brett Fenderdorf, a PA holding the boom for one of the local TV stations. “All I could see were those knee caps flying off, it was disgusting. He came apart like a malfunctioning robot, except instead of wires fizzling out, it was raining bone chips. It was fucked up.”

EMTs on hand who came to Chandler's aid promptly folded him into a briefcase, tossed him into the backseat and immediately left the scene.

In possibly the most intriguing part of the story and lost in the shuffle because of Chandler’s meltdown, was the question of what Billy Joe Tolliver, Mark Rypien and Chris Chandler were even doing at a celebrity golf tournament in the first place.

Note: This is satire for all the amazingly impressive idiots out there.

Prior Chandler disasters: Chris Chandler meets Ken Griffey Jr., Carl Pavano hires Chris Chandler