Golf's Choke Artists

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

Good afternoon World Wide Web...By a round of applause, how do you feel? I'm dswinder from Sons of Sam Malone, and if you're in need of a golf fix, I'm also your dirty needle (There's a 60% chance you won't catch anything...I promise)...Anyway, enough about me and the 100% manly goodness that I contain, let's get on with the show...

With the British Open returning to Carnoustie for the first time since Jean Van de Velde's epic collapse on the 18th hole to lose the championship in 1999, it seems perfectly fitting to list the top five major championship chokes in golf history IMNSHO (In my not so humble opinion) of course...So without further adieu...

5. Mark Calcavecchia - 1991 Ryder Cup (Kiawah Island): Now I know that the Ryder Cup isn't a major championship, but a choke of this proportion at least deserves some space on this shit list...With four holes to go, and the Ryder Cup on the line, Calc sat dormie. If he could just win one of the final four holes he would bring the Cup home to the United States...Oh, but if it were only that simple...Calcavecchia went on to lose the final four holes. The myriad of Holy Effin' Hell holes included a shank into the water on the par 3 17th...Luckily for Calc, he was saved from being number one on this list when Bernhard Langer missed a short par putt to hand the win over to the Americans...USA! USA! USA!



4. Phil Mickelson - 2006 US Open (Winged Foot): This choke can best be explained by Mickelson himself..."I am such an idiot." Yeah, that's an understatement...Going for his fourth major championship, and his third in as many attempts, Phil went into the last hole Sunday with a one-stroke lead on the field...The lead was a miracle in itself. Mickelson hadn't hit his driver well all day, and he even managed to, somehow, hit his tee shot into a trash can on No. 17, a freakin' trash receptacle...But with a combination of Miracle Whip and luck, Lefty headed into 18 carrying a one shot advantage over the rest of the field...So what does he do here? Pulls out a two iron and plays it safe, right? Nah...Mickelson decided it best to hit his driver once again...This time, pulling it onto the roof of a hospitality tent, where it bounced into the spectators and came to rest...Instead of hitting the ball back into the fairway, and getting a tough par, or at worst, forcing a playoff with a bogey, Phil decided he would go for it...Needless to say, it didn't work. The ball hit a tree just 25 yards in front of the hefty lefty, and led Mickelson to a double-bogey, with no share of the lead...



3. Greg Norman - 1996 Masters (Augusta National): This one is possibly the most lopsided choke of them all, and there's not too much to be said about it...Norman went into Sunday, having never won at Augusta, with a 6-shot lead over Nick Faldo...When all was said and done, Faldo carded a 67, while Norman managed a effing hilarious respectable 78...6-shot lead, meet 5-shot deficit...



2. Arnold Palmer - 1966 US Open (Olympic Club): I almost feel that, as a golf fan, this is a little blasphemous to include Arnie in this list, but with a collapse like his, I really didn't have an option...Arnie headed into the back 9 on Sunday with a seven-stroke lead over Billy Casper...Over the next 9 holes the legend managed to give up seven strokes to put him in a tie with Casper, and cause an 18-hole playoff the next day...What makes this choke historic is that Palmer went into the 11th hole of the playoff with a two-shot advantage, before giving up 6 strokes on the final eight holes to lose the US Open...It's not often that you can say anything other than great things about Arnie, but this tournament is definitely an exception...Oh well, at least we got a delicious beverage out of the man...




1. John Van de Velde - 1999 British Open (Carnoustie): This would probably be number one on the list anyway, but with it being the week of the British Open, and the first time back at Carnoustie since his 18th hole collapse, Jean definitely takes the cake...Van de Velde headed into the home hole needing only a double-bogey to win the biggest tournament of his, mediocre at best, career, but he somehow managed to triple-bogey forcing a playoff where he lost to Paul Lawrie...Jean started off the 18th with a drive into the rough. He followed that by hitting his next shot into the grandstand, where the ball bounced off and landed in the thick stuff just short of the water...Van de Velde then proceeded to hit the ball into the water, considered hitting from the hazard, before deciding to take his drop...After getting his relief, and penalty, the Frenchman left his next shot short in a green side bunker, where he hit it out onto the green and made a putt for triple-bogey...He went on to lose in a playoff to Paul Lawrie, finishing off the biggest choke in major championship history...The funniest part of this whole debacle is that Van de Velde returned to Carnoustie and played the entire hole with only a putter...On his third attempt, he managed a double-bogey...You can see that video here...

So what do you think? Are there worse collapses? Let me know in the comments...You're probably wrong, but let's hear it anyway...

Oh and by the way...Welcome to Epic Carnival...The concession stand is to your right...The bathrooms are...Oh shit, we forgot bathrooms...