How to Have a Female in Your Fantasy Football League

by SportsGirl365, Strike Zones and End Zones

As more and more girls are joining fantasy football leagues (whether you like it or not), there seems to be some confusion as to how to treat the women while they are in the house of men. From a fantasy football veteran, I feel the need to offer a few guidelines to you guys out there.

DO feel free to continue to demean and objectify women in your team name. If I can name my own team the Cum Dumpsters, you can certainly name yours using any play on Donkey Punch.

DON’T clean up the house. When a woman enters a man’s house, he often feels the need to put the porn away and pick the dirty underwear up off the floor. Not so in fantasy football. She’s in your territory now. Leave the porn and underwear. You should probably throw away those tissues though.

DO expect her to be able to competently draft a team on her own. Just because she’s female does not allow her to use a computer drafting program or to call her boyfriend at every pick to ask who she should draft.

DON’T be afraid to confiscate the computer and cell phone and let her flounder on her own should she violate the guideline above.

DO institute the “shot rule”. If she (or anyone) mispronounces a player’s name or tries to draft someone who has already been drafted, make her do a shot. This is how you weed out the posers from the chicks who know their stuff. By the fifth round, the posers will be effectively eliminated by way of passing out.

DON’T institute the “What? She was passed out” rule.

DO bite back if she brings the heat in the email threads. Trash talk is what the game is about. If she can dish, she should be able to take it.

DON’T make it personal. Just because your girlfriend cheated on you and you now hate all creatures with vaginas doesn’t mean you can take it out on your new female league member. Unless she calls your mom a tranny hooker. Then it’s on.