In the Epic Carnival Center Ring! Skateboarders and Stairs!!

by Richie Rich, Home Run Derby

Carnivals are all about watching death-defying acts which normal people like you would never consider doing ... unless you were drunk off your ass.

And even then you might not do it unless there was money involved.

Skateboarders seem to lack that basic human sense of self-preservation. Or maybe they're trying to make the annual list of Darwin Award candidates. Maybe they're just always obliterated. Or Stupid.

What is it about putting on a pair of unlaced shoes and stepping onto a plank of four-wheeled plywood that turns off their brain ... you know, the lobe that provides the following internal dialogue ...

"You know, I don't think trying to go down that flight of 14 stairs without touching any of them is really that good of an idea there, Skeetch? By the way, dude, where's our helmet? Are you listening to me? That chick with the big honkers will not do us if our tool is separated from our gonads by that stair-railing."

Ah well ... under our Big Top today and in the Center Ring ... SKATEBOARDERS AND STAIRS !!
First up ... The 14 Stair Crash and roll.
You gotta stick that landing next time, big guy.


Next we have someone named "Beastmaster" attempting 16 Stairs.
You need a new board, dude.


Here's a guy who's smart enough to realize you can't fly over 20+ steps.
Unfortunately, he uses some original thinking and takes the side route ...


Okay ... those guys seemed to get off without a trip to the Hospital. That ends ... right now.
I don't think a helmet would have saved this guy.


You know, we haven't seen anyone use the handrail yet ... handrails are safe, right?
Or Not.


And lastly, let's see why I will not buy my son a skateboard.


Why? Because my insurance isn't that good to cover an "intestinal separation."
And besides, he'll just end up on YouTube ... and eventually Epic Carnival.