Let Phil Fulmer Help YOU Be As Mediocre As You Can Be!

By Boochie Gilchrist, Loser with Socks

Are you a corporate overachiever who's just not getting any respect in the workplace? Does your office produce off-the-charts results with each and every quarter?

It doesn't always have to be that way. If you'll be in in or near Chattanooga next Wednesday, you'll mos def wanna check out the latest edition of Zig Ziglar's "Get Motivated!" business seminar.

Not only will you see Zig work the Memorial Auditorium with his well-rehearsed magic, but for the low admission price of just $49 for your entire office-that's right, your entire office, you can also see the "dean of SEC coaches," the man who boasts a .700 or so lifetime winning percentage to anyone within earshot (especially big-money donors) discuss topics like (and I kid you not):

-Doing more than what's expected!

-Developing a championship attitude!

-Preparation and self-discipline!

-Champions don't talk...they do!

Of course, all of this sage advice will be coming from a man who hasn't sniffed an SEC title since UT ran the table in '98. A man who is 24-23 lifetime against all the other coaches in the SEC. A man who "coaches up" his players to choke in second and third-tier post-season bowls.

That said, here's some topics Fulmer should talk about that would be more resonant:

-How to phone it in on the job and still pull down $2.2 mil/a year!

-Not taking responsibility: how blaming your players can save your hide!

-Using the run to set up the punt!

-Shoney's: more than just a breakfast bar; it's an interrogation room!

-Hiring mediocre subordinates: the key to not getting stabbed in the back!

-Making the most of your body fat: How to hide a tape recorder under your man boobs!

Click on the link above to get your tickets now! Oh, and Bruce Pearl will be there, too.