New Idea: Prisoner Football League

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

I'm sure alot of you that read blogs have attended an NFL football game before, understand how much dough you've got to cough up in order to have a "good" time. $8 for beer, $4 for a bottle of water (with no cap mind you), and $6 for a slice of pizza. All this, and the fact that even nose-bleeder seats cost $64 (good seats could range from $120-$300). The NFL is a billion dollar business (duh!). But if you're like me, you have a conscience. Not because I'm a cheap ass and will accept any hand-me-down coming my way, but because I'm not rich... bitch. What really bothers me however, is the fact that some of these athletes on the field, are glorified criminals. Now I'm not saying the NFL is full of thugs and we should disband the league, because I enjoy a great NFL game just as the next Joe Schmo does. And there are some athletes that contribute to our society more than the thugs can destroy it. But for the most part, these "athletes" live by a separate set of laws just because of their icon/athletic status. So... how do we get around to watching a football game with superior athletes, for a reasonable price, and wouldn't have a guilty conscience for supporting any thugs?

I present to you, the Prisoner Football League:


The Idea? You know you're watching thugs on the field. However, you don't have the guilt of having your hard-earned money go towards a group of thugs. In fact, all proceeds collected from each football game would go to a certain charity of choice.

Each state penitentiary would field their own team of inmates for a regular game of football. Every once in a while, you'd be privileged to watch with some NFL players (I'm sure Chris Henry, Tank Johnson, and Pacman Jones aren't too far away). The rules would be a little different however, in the fact that you can literally destroy the other team, and you won't be penalized. You know, the game is going on, and all of the sudden a stabbing occurs on the field.

No flag kid, gotta play hurt. The referees aren't going to save you here. I'm not promoting this sort of thing, but it would make the game way more exciting if it happened.

Now, you'd have to surround the field with large cage, but hey... they do the same thing for soccer games in other countries besides the good ole' U.S. of A. Funny, they do it to protect the players on the pitch. We'd be doing it to protect the fans from the players.

How do you promote the players to play? Well, they aren't going to be getting any money obviously, so you use other incentives. Better food to eat, better than their average living conditions, or time taken off their sentence. Not much, just consider it getting out on "good behavior".

Roger Goodell would probably have a heart attack taking over my league, because bad behavior isn't just going to happen, it's expected.

Oh, and the cheerleaders you ask? Don't worry, they're still there, but behind a screen so the players can't see them.

We'd blue-ball the players, because afterall, they're douchebags
You get all of the things you could've ever wanted out of a professional football game. All of your money goes to charity, concessions would be cheap at these games, and it wouldn't matter if these players get hurt because they're criminals.

I know, I'm a genius.

Any other ideas to add to the league? Go for it in comment form.