by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap
Dear Dead, Rich People of Nigeria (and attorneys),
While I appreciate your efforts to reach me and share your vast wealth with me, I must confess that I have no need for your money as far as you know I am already independently wealthy and find the sums of money you are willing to share minuscule in the grand scheme of things.
I am glad that you believe that I am a highly respected personality and the fact that you did your homework by finding my profile on a human resource profile database in my country.
While I have no doubt that you are the Personal Attorney to all of these wealthy individuals working in an oil servicing Company in Nigeria, I am still not interested.
I was also sorry to hear about your clients' wives and children and the car accidents that seem to have befallen all of them. Your country must have the worst roads in the world. Perhaps you can use some of that money to do some repairs?
I wish I could be of some assistance in locating your clients' relatives so that they may benefit from your clients riches. Unfortunately I don't have the time to help you in repatriating the money left behind by your clients. I am sure that they could use the US$6.5 Million (Six Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only).
I am curious as to what the rush is on this matter and why you need to have this all completed in the next ten official working days?
Despite the fact that I cannot assist you, I would still love to meet you when you come over to my country to meet with the person who did accept your offer for the disbursement of the fund. I have no doubt that they will pleased with the manner in which you plan to divide up these estates: 40% will be for you, 50% will be for the U.S. citizen and 10% for any expenses that come up in the process.
I am also very pleased that you are offering a guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect the recipient of this gift from any breach of the law.
If I find someone willing to help, I will forward your email to them.
Keep in touch,
DCScrap
P.S. While you're trying to find someone to assist you, please visit here. I think it will help.
P.S.S. Stop fucking sending me these emails.
P.S.S.S. Yeah, I know, not sports-related. Sue me.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Open Letter to the 3,236 Dead, Rich People of Nigeria
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3 comment(s):
I must get 30 of those a day. I make sure to label them as spam, but I guess I'm the luckiest guy in the world, I must have won $10,000,000,000,000 by now.
I get these several times a day to my Tips email. Here's one I just got. Seriously, we should attack Nigeria for this reason alone.
Miss Linda Yarah
Abidjan Cote D Ivoire
West Africa
Dearest,
Please i am sorry for the inconvinences and embarrassment this may look like but i wrote it with the heart of tears and sorrows as an orphan, seeking your understanding and help in the name of GOD
I am linda yarah the only daughter of late Mr and Mrs christan yarah.My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan , the economic capital of Ivory coast, my father was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip . My mother died when I was a baby and since then my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on 20th may 2006 in a private hospital here in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bed side and told me that he has the sum of ten million,five hundred thousand United State Dollars. USD,10.5m left in fixed / suspense account in one of the prime bank here in Abidjan ,that he used my name as his only daughter for the next of Kin in depositing of the fund. He also explained to me that it was because of this
wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates. That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where i will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management .
Dear, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:
(1) To provide a good bank account into which this money would be transferred into .
(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since I am only 19years.
(3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country. Moreover, dear, i am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort/ input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas. Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within seven (7) days you signify interest to assist me. Please contact me on my private email misslinda_yarah@yahoo.com for more informations.
Anticipating to hear from you soon.
remain bless,
Yours Faithfully,
Linda yarah.
Fuckin AMEN to that.
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