Tiger Blog: 2nd Round

by dswinder, Sons of Sam Malone

Yes, the rumors are true, I am back, and ready for about four more hours of live blogging...Today, we will be following Tiger through his round...He's set to tee off at 9:20, so I should be getting started in the next ten minutes...While you
wait, here's a picture of some Open fans (that can be taken however you want to take it...).


9:20 AM: Here we go folks...He's teeing off...quiet please...Shit Tiger, that was an iron...He may have just hit that OB...What the hell?

9:23 And we're teeing off again...This time he misses the fairway on the damn provisional...Well it looks like my day is going to suck horse testicles...

9:26 I'm tired of these Miller Chill commercials...No joke there just letting you know...

9:28 Did you know that everyone practices in the same wind...That is a revolutionary discovery...Who woulda thunk it...?

9:29 God, I love Boo Weekley...Did you see that swing?

9:32 I'm still waking up...I promise that I'll hit my comic stride soon...Pinky promise...

9:33 Well, Tiger...You just broke my heart...I'm serious...you just threw it on the floor...Double-bogey...Even par...6 back...From the Surge...At least the Surge shot an even round today and didn't extend the lead...

9:37 Ok...Let's stop with the Surge talk...I hate that spindly former soft drink...

9:39 That's more like it Tiger...Good drive...I was starting to think your wife was going to end up leaving you for me...Oops, sorry guys...I nodded off for a minute...

9:40 I did not need to see that...Two fatty Brits groping each other...I think I'm turned on....mmm mmm mmmmm...

9:44 There are an inordinate amount of commercials this morning...I think they might be getting them out of the way so they can try and cover Tiger close to commercial free...The golf world bows to him, and I love it...

9:46 Tony Jacklin is a P to the I to the M to the P...

9:47 Wow, that was a nice shot by Monty...

9:48 Boo Freaking Weekley is wearing a camo undershirt...As a heterosexual, is wrong to say I love him...?

9:49 Birdie for Tiger after a great 5 iron...Ata boy...Back to within 5...1-under...

9:52 Tiger got a good kick on his drive...That seals it..A win is meant to be...

9:57 That pitching wedge shot was a like a roller coaster of emotion for me...I was happy, then sad, then happy, then kinda happy...At least he's got a shot at another bird...

9:59 Well shit...His ball fell off...Dammit...At least it's not too tough of a up and down for par...

10:03 I cannot get over the camo undershirt...I love this man...It's official...I LOVE YOU BOO!

10:04 Good par for Tiger...Still at 1-under 5 back...

10:05 We just lost Ernie Clampett and switched to Rich's brother Terry Gannon...I don't like this...I need my super announcer tandem Ernie Clampett...

10:08 Tiger almost found the fairway...Good shot though...He's got it under control after that terrible start...

10:14 Boo Fucking Weekley fought orangutans...Tiger better win this tournament, or I'm switching my allegiance...

10:15 Good host Tiger...Long, but definitely makable putt left for bird...He's definitely righted the ship...

10:21 That's enough TNT...I think Jean Van de Velde is currently swinging from a rope hanging from the Eiffel Tower...Oui oui...

10:24 Bad shot by Tiger, but it worked out ok...Keep the faith...Shun the non-believer...Shuuuun



10:27 I am SOOOO tired of this Miller Chill...Overkill makes people not want a product...

10:29 That was terrible...I have no idea where that ball ended up...I'm crying now I need consolation...Where's my gymnast? Oh yeah, that comes later...

10:35 The 'Zinger is probably on steroids because he continually tries to claim there are no steroids being used...He is degrading a legend (Gary Player) to say there is no 'roid usage...Yep, he's on 'em...

10:36 Bogey for Tiger...back to even...6-back...I still have faith...You should too...

10:39 That looked like a really good shot from Tiger...But it wasn't...I hope he can even get a swing off...

10:43 Tiger looks like a damn linebacker...He's got on long sleeves and his arms look huge...Hey, whatever it takes to knock up the Swedish supermodel...Am I right?

10:47 Now he's in a bunker...Am I a girl if I cry...?

10:51 Good job getting out of the bunker, but it's looking like another bogey...Someone take this razor blade out of my hand...

10:53 Somehow he got a par out of the situation...I'm feeling better now...I'll put the bic away for now...

10:56 Good tee shot from Tiger...Ok the sobs are starting to subside...

10:59 In case you didn't see Boo Weekley's amazing shirt here it is...



This is why I love him...

11:01 I'm starting to think this isn't Tiger's day...That shot looked perfect, and then it rolled off the back...

11:06 I'm about to go get some food, and then I'll be back to finish Tiger's round...but before I do let's cover the end of this hole...

11:08 Good putt...Par...Even, still 6 back...Time for food...I'll be back fairly shortly...Behave while I'm gone...

12:07 PM: I was gone longer than expected...Sorry...I gotta get up to speed so bare with me...Check out this piece about my boy Boo getting knocked out by an orangutan like I mentioned earlier...

12:10 Dammit Tiger...1-over...Get it together man...

12:16 I promise I'll get it together soon...

12:17 Good drive Tiger...Ata boy...Elin is now at home pleasuring herself with glee...Ohhhh...I'll have to be back in a minute...

12:23 Over at TNT, they really want us to know that they know drama...

12:25 Tiger does not flail...Shut your mouth you dirty whore steroid user Paul Azinger...

12:27 My man crush ensues...Look at that...You can see Tiger's ripped arms through a freakin' sweater...

12:29 Have you ever stopped to think about this...Tiger could never play another round of golf, and he would be able to live lavishly for the rest of his life...All the while banging a Swedish supermodel every night...Ok, I better stop...I'm starting to hate him...

12:31 Real life 'Zinger quote..."That sounded like a bag of nickels."

12:33 More damn Miller Chill...I hope they go broke spending all this money on ad space...That being said...Contact DCScrap if you want to buy some space on this blog...

12:35 I just figured I'd let you all know, don't be a menace to South Central while drinkin' your juice in the hood...

12:36 Nice tee shot by Tiger on the par 3 13th...I need you at 2-under Tiger...You think you can work on that for me?

12:39 Dammit it Azinger, it's not all about you...I, I'm, My...He is so self absorbed...I now hate you Paul Azinger...You've moved from indifferent to hate in my book...Be scared...

12:40 I thought it was IN THE HOLE...Just left it short...Good par...

12:40 Another flailing comment from the 'Zinger...I'm tired of you...Tiger does not flail, you blaspheme...

12:41 Why is it that you only hear, "IT'S IN THE HOLE!", in the United States...I think I know why...

12:42 Another damn Miller Chill commercial...Please, just stop...Please...

12:44 I think he stayed out of the bunker on the tee shot...If he did, then really good drive...How about an iggle? Right that ship...Stop flailing (I had to)...

12:45 Did you know that pull hooks are in your brain...Well, they are...Just ask 'Zinger...It's hard to get 'em out too...

12:47 Great putt by 'Tiefy Goosen...I think that's the first mention of "Tiefy today...

12:49 What happened to Monty? Did I miss something...He's struggling to make the cut...I thought he was doing well...Someone fill me in...

12:52 Look who it is...More Credible's favorite, Chris "I'm a damn Gate." DiMarco...

12:54 I really like KJ Choi...He seems really gracious, and he's a good golfer...He goes on the good list...Sometime I'll compile this list and post it...

12:55 That's the way uh huh, uh huh, I like it...Birdie for El Tigre...You know what...I wish I had the problem of "having to settle for birdie"...

1:01 Bad drive...Up and down...Come on Tiger...

1:06 Good shot...I'm feeling a comeback right about now...Come on guys...I need some Ballhype/Yarbarker love...I need some outside commenters to argue with...

1:12 TNT still knows drama...

1:13 Good par from Tiger...and More Cred, Chris DiMarco will never win a major...He can play well every year...He just doesn't have what it takes to win...

1:14 I love Rory McIlvoy if for no other reason than the similarities to Roy "Tin Cup" McAvoy, better known as number three on the top 5 golf movie characters list...

1:17 SCREW YOU MILLER CHILL! You've just sent me WAY OVER THE EDGE!

1:18 I don't know if I wanna take Flomax...Headache, dizziness, and decrease in semen...Random?

1:19 More Cred: DiMarco will choke on Tiger's semen in his sleep...I will be at home laughing with boyish glee...

1:23 Time for a random picture...How about a sad Tiger...



Awwww...Poor guy...If he doesn't win he will have to go home to a Swedish supermodel without the Claret Jug...Poor guy...

1:28 Good par...Still 6 back...

1:40 I wish Drew Weaver had have made the cut...It's still a great story...

1:44 Another par for Tiger...At least he's under control now...

1:46 How sad for Nick Faldo...They were so sure he wouldn't make the cut that he was added to the weekend broadcast crew...Poor guy...Sucks for him...

1:50 The final hole of the day...Come on, time for a good finish...

1:51 Great drive, unlucky result, still pretty good...Come on Tiger let's get it to within 5 to close out the day...

1:52 I bet you money that Mike Weir got his ass beat on a regular basis growing up...Hey he was just "My Queer" to everyone...Bend over and take it buddy...

1:54 That was effin' creepy...Spielberg is starting to get strange with age..."Make me a real boy." "You are a real boy." and it sounded all sexual...

1:58 Not a good shot from Tiger...and once again, poor Nick Faldo...He just finished, and they've already got him commentating...

2:00 Can it really be that cold Tiger? Gloves? Big effin' gloves...

2:03 "My Queer" has low and penetrating balls...Hey, that's what they just told me...Blame Ernie...

2:05 A bogey to finish the day...Well, that sucks...

2:06 Ok, that's it for me...Be sure to head on over to Sons of Sam Malone a little later to read my day 2 wrap/3rd round preview...I may follow Tiger's round on here again tomorrow...I haven't decided yet...I'll be sure to post an announcement if I decide to later on tonight...Hasta la vista babies...

-DSW