TOP SECRET: An E-mail from Joey Harrington to Rich McKay

by TheAngryT

Bitter B from the TheAngryT has obtained a copy of an email sent to Falcons GM Rich McKay from none other than pretty boy Joey Harrington. We found it pretty interesting, take a read.

Rich I just got off the phone with Mike about this whole dog thing. Man this sucks, it really f-ing sucks. I mean we're talking about the feds here, the goddamn FBI or something. I'm pretty sure they don't run you up to a grand jury unless they have a pretty good case, we're not talking about back-country sheriffs here. Regardless of that though, with Goddell running around like the fürher handing out suspensions for driving drunk and going to strip clubs and stuff (between you and me how are you supposed to have fun anymore?) I can only imagine what he's going to do to Mike, you know how he likes his dogs too.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past 15 minutes and wanted to let you know that I think it would be wise for you, me, and the team if you start looking for another starting QB. It's no secret that while I was drafted number 3 overall, I am not a starter. I mean look at my seasons in Detroit, sure they had a bad team, but I surely didn't help matters. Plus my game is totally different than Mikes. It is pretty obvious that he makes a living with his legs. He doesn't even have to run, the threat of running opens up throwing lanes especially to his tightends and backs. I like to stay in the pocket as long as possible, which was like .5 seconds on the lions. Honestly, I am not fast, I am extremely slow. Have you seen my rushing stats? In 5 seasons I have gained a mere 369 yards, I think mike did that in a single game didn't he?

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know of my thoughts, I mean I'll play if you want me too, but I can't gaurauntee anything better than an 0-16 season, in fact i wouldn't put money on us for a single game. Plus I was really looking forward to relaying plays and flirting with the guys in the stands.

Actually my agent just called with great news. Apparently Miami just released Culpepper. Now that is a QB, and he has the mobility we need. I got to know him real well last year and he assured me he was back to his old Minnesota form. He will provide the skills and leadership we need to get over the hump. Plus he loves strippers, which most of the other guys seem to be into, I've heard its great a bonding opportunity.

Let me know if you have any questions, I could even put in a call to Daunte for you.

See you at camp, Joey