Unsung Zeroes

by SportsGirl365, Strike Zones and End Zones

Every week we hear stories of misbehavior and general douchebaggery from well known athletes in modern sports. But for every story that’s reported by no less than 250 media outlets, there’s another story that goes unnoticed. Well no more, because I now bring you Unsung Zeroes.

This week’s Unsung Zero: sumo wrestler Asashoryu.

This week, the Japanese media reported that Asashoryu, the fifth ranked wrestler in sumo history, faked injuries to get out of a charity wrestling tour, which was to benefit an earthquake ruined region of Japan. After the super sized Mongolian turned in medical papers documenting his “injuries” he returned to his home country, where shortly after a video surfaced on the media showing him “cheerfully playing soccer” with children. The Japan Sumo Association is now investigating the purported fake injuries.

Nevermind that. They should be investigating Asashoryu for cheerfully endangering the welfare of children. Have you ever seen a 300+ pound sumo wrestler play soccer? Me neither, but I can’t imagine it’s pretty for anyone involved. And what if he tripped, burying innocent children under pounds and pounds of lard and tempura? Not cool, Mr. Asashoryu. Not. Cool.

So congratulations, Asashoryu. Because of your disregard for the safety of children, your dishonesty in competition, and fact that you wear a bedsheet thong for a living, you are this week’s Unsung Zero.