Cubs Trying to Trade for a Playmate

by Richie Rich, Home Run Derby

So I read this morning that the Cubs have claimed Shannon Stewart off waivers. They'll have two days to work out a deal.

I'm not sure what the Cubs are thinking here.

What in the Hell are the Cubs going to do with Shannon Stewart, the June 2000 Playboy Playmate of the Month, when what they really need right now is a veteran outfielder who can fill in for the injured Alfonso Soriano in left field or maybe even play some centerfield?

Really. This move might make sense if the Cubs were having their typical August - you know, the month after the month in which they were all but mathematically eliminated.

But this season, the Cubs are in the thick of the race for the NL Central crown, even if it's because the rest of the Division sucks.

Wait. Not that Shannon Stewart?

You mean the Shannon Stewart who used to play for the Blue Jays and Twins and who broke up Curt Schilling's no-hit bid earlier this season in Oakland?

Rats. That would have been fun to watch.

Let's compare their statistics anyway ...

Shannon Stewart (Playboy) - 34D-26-34

Shannon Stewart (Baseball) - .299/.363/.436