David Wells Returns....Fabric on Dodgers Jersey Cringes

by Jack Cobra, Cobra Brigade

David Wells made his triumphant return to MLB last night and as we can all see, he did not spend his time away working himself into better shape. I've heard all the stories about Wells and how he's a great athlete for a 'man his size' but come on.....how many men are his size to compare him to? Not. Too. Many. Are we going to start comparing him to Yokozuna?

Wells is far passed the days of pitching quality baseball and has now entered his prime as a prime rib eating mo-fo. The dude may not be able to get hitters out consistently anymore, but he can put it down at the dinner table. He'll eat you out of house and home quicker than you can say Homer Simpson All You Can Eat Buffet. In a world filled with athletes using performance enhancing drugs....you can rest assured Wells is clean.....as is his dinner plate.