by Tbone, The Sports Hernia
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays announced today that they will not be showing up for games over the next two weeks "just to see if anyone notices." While many might think MLB officials would indeed notice since they held a press conference announcing it, no cameras, reporters, interns, custodians, senior citizens or mascots were actually present during the team's announcement.
Regardless, the overall reaction from the top of the organization on down seemed unified.
"Why the hell not," said manager Joe Madden while mixing in Mr. Clean with his Jack Daniels. "Seriously guys, do you think anyone will notice? Do you think anyone will even care? Guys? Guys?? Is anyone even in here? Am I talking to myself again?"
An animated Madden then went on to berate a 2006 mustard-stained team photo for several minutes that was remarkably hanging from the wall by just a thumb tack. It's expected that Madden will benefit most from the two week hiatus.
Following extensive research by the Hernia staff, it's been confirmed that the last Devil Rays highlight to be televised was in 2000 when Gerald Williams charged the mound and punched Pedro Martinez, who was pitching for the Red Sox at the time.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Devil Rays to Not Play for Two Weeks Just to See if Anyone Notices
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2 comment(s):
Weren't they going to change their team name to just the "Rays" or did they already do that and no one noticed that either?
I'm not sure, but the rumor about them converting their bullpen to a putting green has been confirmed.
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