by Boochie Gilchrist, Loser with Socks
In a move that sent shockwaves across emails and around office water coolers everywhere, fantasy football addicts breathed a collective sigh of relief this morning as the second coming of Tim Couch himself, Mister Brady "but...but...I am worth top-ten money, waaaaaaaaaaaah!" Quinn grabbed his ankles and dreamed of England just long enough to sign a $20.2 million dollar contract. Thanks for taking one for the team, Brady! Awfully big of ya, sport!
But while Cleveland fans pin their false hopes on yet another wannabe QB, the biggest ripple effect will take place in about a month, when fantasy football draft parties take place. What does this mean to the average fantasy GM?
If your first round draft pick isn't high enough to get one of those mangina stat-whore qbs like Tom "baby-daddy" Brady or Peyton Manning, fear not. By drafting Brady Quinn in the eighth round, you'll have the most gifted quarterback to ever set foot on a gridiron. And, since he learned his trade from the Yoda of college football coaches, herr Jedi Master Charlie "0-1 in lawsuits" Weiss, even though he's missed the first ten days of camp, Brady figures to have the entire Browns' playbook mastered midway through his flight from Arizona to Browns training camp. Perhaps somewhere over Kansas. That's a small price to pay for being omnipotent.
On the other hand, if you do have a top three draft pick, why waste it on the aforementioned or LaDanian Tomlinson when you can select Brady Quinn? That's a no-brainer! Hell, why not petition your fantasy GM commissioner to let you drop one, no, both your running backs and have Brady Quinn instead? No handicap whatsoever. After all, Brady's a guy who can rack up 145 fantasy points. On a bye-week.
He's that good, folks. He's the second coming of football. He makes Chuck Norris quake in his boots. Children will be named after him. Folk songs will be written about him. He'll sign autographs for $75 a pop...oh wait-that already happened.
He's no Ryan Leaf. HE is Brady Quinn.
(Source: ESPN)
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