God Wants Joey Harrington to be a Starting Quarterback

by Sanchez, Shot To Nothing

No seriously, I spoke to him last night. I was sitting there, toying with my player rankings on NFL.com and wondering whether Cedrick Wilson was a viable pick at WR, when all of a sudden this big voice boomed out "Take Harrington as your starting QB!"

"Er... firstly WTF? and secondly WTF?!" I asked.

"'Tis me, the Almighty!" came the reply. "Joey is gonna blow up for sure this year, trust me, I know."

After the initial surpirse that God himself was addressing me, I settled down and decided to ask the Big-man a question that I've often pondered over this off-season.

"So God, am I right in thinking that you're determined to make Joey Harrington a starting QB?"

"What makes you say that my son?"

"Well it's just that, things didn't really work out for him in Detroit and he got traded to the Phins as a backup QB but all of a sudden Culpepper re-injures his knee and Harrington is installed as the starter...

"A masterstroke if you ask me"

"...then he had a tough time behind Miami's useless O-line, so after picking up John Beck in the draft, Joey was shipped off to Atlanta to play as a back-up there, but then all this business with Michael Vick happens and..."

"Yeah, but Michael Vick was an asshole anyway wasn't he?"

"Well sure, but ahh... isn't that kind of your fault?"

"Ahem... DARE YOU QUESTION THE ALMIG... oh ok, yep, my bad."

"So back to my original question Lord, is all of this just some crazy coincidence or do you actually want Harrington to be a starter?"

"Well I uh..."

"Come on God, fess up"

"Oh alright, I admit it. It's just that, Joey's such a nice guy you know?"

"Yeah I know what you mean; Like when he got revenge on the Lions on Thanksgiving day and he was eating that thing that looked like puke in a pan and saying how proud he was to be a part of the Dolphins organisation and stuff... I was just listening to him and thinking 'God-damn you Joey, why can't you be good? Everybody wants you to be, except Lions fans I guess, so come on man, just play like a damned starter for once.'"

"Exactly! You've hit the nail right on the head there my son. However, now I've got him into a better team..."

"The Falcons??"

"HETHEMMMMM... Now I've got him into a better team then the Dolphins and the Lions, hopefully he can perform better, only time will tell. And btw, less of the blasphemy or I'll smite you bitch"

"Sorry Lord"

"I forgive you. Now, about your D/ST selection ..."