Have No Fear, Ziggy's Here

by Mustafa Redonkulous, Deuce of Davenport

Ziggy Wilf is better then Gandhi, Mother Teresa and MLK combined into one like Voltron. You heard it here first and maybe last. He may run a major sports franchise but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to be a part of the community and bring honor and integrity back to Minneapolis.

The aftermath of the I-35 bridge collapse has brought forth offers of support especially from White House who has promised to help out in any way it can. Pray for Mojo, Minnesota.

Luckily Vikings owner Ziggy Wilf has offered to step in and pick up the slack. He offered to donate all proceeds from the team's training camp practice with the Kansas City Chiefs to "relief and recovery efforts for the families of the victims. He's a hero just like everyone who buys 9-11 and NYPD shirts from vendors around Ground Zero.

Wilf didn't stop there. He also offered use of the Vikings' sex boat for sex ferry purposes until the bridge is rebuilt.

There is a catch, Minnesota. He's giving you this money but he still wants his stadium.

"We all understand that there has to be a focus on the infrastructure, that we have to dedicate ourselves to make transportation a priority for the sake of safety and for the sake of a growing community that needs transportation infrastructure that will move us into the 21st century," Wilf said.

"That does not exclude the fact that we understand that the Metrodome is also one of the oldest facilities in the league, and we want to make sure that we have a facility that meets the standards of the 21st century."

That's a small price to pay for practice money and a sex ferry.