How To Hook Up With A Deadspin Commenter

by SportsGirl365, Strike Zones and End Zones

In a world of eHarmony, Match.com, and JDate, internet hook-ups are becoming a socially accepted norm. There is, however, a much overlooked forum for match-making that has thrived underground – the Deadspin comments section. I offer you a few tips for successfully hooking up with a Deadspin commenter.

DO use the last post of the day as a chat room after midnight.

DON'T use the term "Deadspinning" as a euphemism for commenter sex.

DO attend a Pants Party. Apparently cheap seats and overpriced beer drives the commenting masses to a sexual frenzy.

DON'T introduce yourself in person to a potential hookup by your commenter name, however.

DO use your commenter names when calling out during sex. Nothing's hotter than hearing "Give it to me Phony Gwynn!" mid-thrust.

DON'T underestimate the power of being the Combudsman. A promise of a commenter invite will turn any girl into a panty dropper.

DO feel free to give your hook-up a +1 after a particularly good sack session.

DON'T forget, non-stop Anchorman quotes in the comments: usually funny. Non-stop Anchorman quotes in bed: never funny.

DO remember that body tagging online and body tagging in real life are not the same thing. You should, however, close your tag in both cases.

DON'T offer to "threadjack" Will. He's way out of your league. Plus, his parent's basement is kinda small.

DO remember there is a sliding scale of attractiveness for commenter hook-ups. A commenter "9" is a real life "5". Set your expectation levels accordingly.

DON'T think that having a blog you update once a month moves you up on the attractiveness scale. You're not fooling anybody.