Joba the Hutt

by Jack Cobra, Cobra Brigade

(Insert Star Wars joke here) The Yankees promoted 21-year old prized prospect Joba Chamberlain today, so let me educate you on who this masked man is....although, he's not wearing a mask. Imagine if he was wearing a mask though, that would be a large mask. You'd almost have to buy a large, wide belt and cut holes in it to get it around his melon. Whatever.

First of all, as you can see from the picture, Joba does not bend the bill of his hat. When I played ball in college this was the cool thing to do. Alas, it is not cool any longer. In fact, it just makes Joba's face look fat, which leads me to.....Joba is not a skinny dude. He was nicknamed, Joba the Hutt, when he played at Nebraska and for good reason. He's a big boy. Third, Joba is not Jonathan Papelbon. I can't emphasize this enough. Joba was promoted to act as a bridge to Mariano Rivera and not to save the Yankees season. He won't be the reason why the Yankees make the playoffs because the Yankees are going to make it with or without him, they are just that good. Nevertheless, congrats to Joba on making it to the majors, let's just hope he doesn't eat himself out of it.

Oh, for those of you that care....Chamberlain throws hard, he has had his fastball ranked as the best in the Yankees farm system and has averaged more than a strikeout per inning in the minors...that's all the real baseball news you are going to get, slacker.