Nike: Our Shoe Didn't Injure Rooney (which means it did)

by Josh, The Beautiful Game

Amid the stunned silence, as Wayne Rooney (England's football soccer savior) writhed on the pitch field with a fractured foot, Nike screamed "WE DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!!!"

He himself is personally absolutely confident, as we are, that the boot had nothing to do with his injury.

That denial came so fast it has to be fake. Like these (and no I don't mean the girl-on-the-right's freaky eyes). Faker, even, that this commercial. "Put it where you want it." I've heard that before.

Nike denial's was like that of a husband whose wife asks, "Isn't this phone number that of your company's new secretary?" Or, "You're not hosting the fantasy football draft this year again, are you?"

We can see right through you Nike. You broke my heart Fredo Rooney's foot, don't lie.