by OMDQ, One More Dying Quail
As the folks here at Epic Carnival know from the thousands of emails we have exchanged in the past few weeks, my last name is Moynahan. Even though I am constantly correcting people on the pronunciation (it's pronounced "Monahan" - the "y" is silent), I like the name. It's got a nice ring to it.
It's also not one that is shared by a great many famous people, which is why headlines like the one below from This Suit Is Not Black tend to confuse me:
Moynahan Wants To Ruin Opening Day For New England
What? No I don't. I love New England and its Patriots. From the moment I jumped on the bandwagon (the final regular season game of the 2001 season) to the second the check engine light came on (the 2007 AFC Championship Game), I have enjoyed following the team and watching its cast of future Hall of Famers in action.
Then, of course, I realized my mistake. I'm not the jerk dead set on wrecking opening day for millions of New England sports fans. I'm just a no-name, shameless bandwagon jumper who couldn't list five members of any pre-2001 team to save my life. A whole other set of issues, sure, but nothing that affects anybody else's life.
No, the real ruiner of hopes, dreams and the Patriots' 2007 season is Bridget Moynahan, the actress who changed the pronunciation of her name once she became semi-famous rather than continue correcting people and since late last year has been using her womb to grow Tom Brady's Offspring. Apparently, Bridget wasn't thoughtful enough to entrap Brady earlier in the 2006 season, meaning her pregnancy is due to come to an end any day now. Unfortunately, this is Daddy's busy time of the year, meaning he needs to get permission from Bill Belichick to be present for the birth.
Good thing Belichick is a cyborg with no soul, or we might actually have something to worry about.
Seriously, though, two questions:
1) How is Moynahan still pregnant? Doesn't it seem like she's been carrying that thing for a full year now? Is this just a case of my mind playing tricks on me, or do Brady fetuses require extra time to develop their supernatural powers?
2) Does it really matter if Brady is there for the birth or not? I vote no. Maybe if they were still together, it would be necessary, but that is obviously not the case here. Tom should put the team above his own personal issues (unless she births that thing before the start of the regular season - missing preseason games isn't exactly a big deal).
In the end, the only thing that really matters is that the tabloid media of the world will have another baby to fawn over for the next few weeks. Too bad he won't be the cutest Moynahan born in 2007:
As the folks here at Epic Carnival know from the thousands of emails we have exchanged in the past few weeks, my last name is Moynahan. Even though I am constantly correcting people on the pronunciation (it's pronounced "Monahan" - the "y" is silent), I like the name. It's got a nice ring to it.It's also not one that is shared by a great many famous people, which is why headlines like the one below from This Suit Is Not Black tend to confuse me:
Moynahan Wants To Ruin Opening Day For New England
What? No I don't. I love New England and its Patriots. From the moment I jumped on the bandwagon (the final regular season game of the 2001 season) to the second the check engine light came on (the 2007 AFC Championship Game), I have enjoyed following the team and watching its cast of future Hall of Famers in action.
Then, of course, I realized my mistake. I'm not the jerk dead set on wrecking opening day for millions of New England sports fans. I'm just a no-name, shameless bandwagon jumper who couldn't list five members of any pre-2001 team to save my life. A whole other set of issues, sure, but nothing that affects anybody else's life.
No, the real ruiner of hopes, dreams and the Patriots' 2007 season is Bridget Moynahan, the actress who changed the pronunciation of her name once she became semi-famous rather than continue correcting people and since late last year has been using her womb to grow Tom Brady's Offspring. Apparently, Bridget wasn't thoughtful enough to entrap Brady earlier in the 2006 season, meaning her pregnancy is due to come to an end any day now. Unfortunately, this is Daddy's busy time of the year, meaning he needs to get permission from Bill Belichick to be present for the birth.Good thing Belichick is a cyborg with no soul, or we might actually have something to worry about.
Seriously, though, two questions:
1) How is Moynahan still pregnant? Doesn't it seem like she's been carrying that thing for a full year now? Is this just a case of my mind playing tricks on me, or do Brady fetuses require extra time to develop their supernatural powers?
2) Does it really matter if Brady is there for the birth or not? I vote no. Maybe if they were still together, it would be necessary, but that is obviously not the case here. Tom should put the team above his own personal issues (unless she births that thing before the start of the regular season - missing preseason games isn't exactly a big deal).
In the end, the only thing that really matters is that the tabloid media of the world will have another baby to fawn over for the next few weeks. Too bad he won't be the cutest Moynahan born in 2007:
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