Pedro Gomez Has the Worst Job

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

You know, ever since Bare-Roid has been within a hundred dingers of the all-time home run record, ESPN has sent their goons out to cover every game he plays in, hoping to get some sort of insight or report whether he'll play or not. If you're not aware, the one jackass that has to follow Bonds for EVERY day of his life, is Pedro Gomez. If Bonds is stepping up to the urinal, coverage is there thanks to Pedro. It seems like he's been following Bonds for years and has never had another assignment outside of that. Never have I seen him on TV if it wasn't about Bonds. I know he's supposed to be an expert on him now, but his reporting is coming dangerously close to homo-erotic fanism. I mean, when he's just talking about him, he gets a little more excited than usual.

Why ESPN? Why did you have to torture poor Pedro and your viewers with this piss poor reporting? It's like we're all in this "relationship" we don't want to be in. You're just sitting there, enjoying highlights from all the sports that day, and Pedro strolls in. He shuffles his notes, slowly, even giving you a little wink just before he reports. And then he's on the air, and you're sitting there in your chair and you know that you have no place to run. ESPN2 is playing The Bronx is Burning, and you'd rather set your armpit hair on fire than sit through an episode of that shit. So you sit there, noticing that he has enough make-up on to cover up the Watergate Scandal, and wait for something relevant to come out of his mouth. And after the report, you realize that there was you retained zero information that was on the field relevant.

Seriously, when Barry isn't doing anything, is it REALLY that news worthy? I'm not going to lose sleep at night if Barry goes 1-3 with a single at bat. I don't really need to know if Barry woke up on the right side of the bed that morning instead of the left. I DO want to know if Bonds has his face bitten off by a dog, because I would cheer that.

Pedro, I'm telling you dude, it's time to get a new gig. There are ladies out there that are probably a little freaked out by your occupation right now. Probably to the point where you're pretty lonely at night in your Barry Bonds jammies. It's okay, let him go man. Barry is married. There are other fish in the sea.

Photo Image: Fox Sports