Texas, Oklahoma and Testicles...A Potentially Volatile Combination

by T, The Angry T

I am sure you are aware that college football is taken very seriously in some parts of the country. I know that when I went down to Ohio State for the big OSU / Michigan game a few years back, fans really gave me a hard time. They razzed me, called me a names, and told me Ann Arbor was a whore. But you know what they didn't do? They didn't rip my testicles off. I am thankful for that, but unfortunately, not everyone was so lucky.

Aggravated assault charges have been filed against a church deacon and University of Oklahoma Sooners fan after officials say he grabbed a University of Texas fan between the legs during a scuffle in an Oklahoma bar.

A couple of months before the annual Red River Shootout between the Sooners and Longhorns, words were exchanged at Henry Hudson's Pub between Allen Beckett, 53, and Brian Thomas. Witnesses said it was because Thomas was wearing a UT T-shirt.

Neither Thomas or Beckett chose to comment, but the police report described what happened to the victim, including graphic details about his injuries that included a torn scrotal sack with partially exposed testicles.

For those of you scoring at home, a deacon is a man of the cloth. He supposedly has the light of Christ shining through him, and apparently Jesus hates the University of Texas. Above is the picture on the Dallas / Fort Worth NBC affiliate Web site, which is supposed to depict what happened.

That looks like a pretty accurate depiction to me, except that there are no testicles in this man's hand, nor is there any blood spewing from this man's groin.

(Editor's Note: Apparently Deadspin and With Leather were all over this story last week. Props to them.)