by Davey, Blown Coverage
Earlier today, Jack Cobra told you about Garret Anderson and his amazing 10 rbi game last against the Yankees and I guess the only person who's more embarased than Joe Torre and his staff right now is Espn's Page 2 writer Jonah Keri.
Keri watched the weekend series of the Angels and the Red Sox at Fenway and he dropped his list with 10 observations yesterday for us to enjoy. Let's just say that mister Keri's timing was as good as a Jamie Moyer "fastball".
He starts of like this...
"2. Garret Anderson is English for Really Bad Baseball Player".
So yes, number 2 on his list is an explanation why Garret Anderson is as useful as a dead duck in the middle of Anaheim's lineup. Keri starts by explaining how good the top of the order has been for Anaheim and how Anderson is a flaming pile of bird diarrhea in the clean-up spot.
"And then there's Anderson, who's vying for the prestigious "worst cleanup hitter in the history of the universe" award. Injured for much of the season, Anderson has been awful when upright, hitting just .271/.297/.412. Never a great on-base threat, even back in the days when people foolishly tossed him some MVP votes, Anderson is an absolute offensive sieve now that he's not hitting for power either."
Ouch. But there's more. Keri finishes his argument with one final punch to Anderson's crotch.."There's something cruel about making a guy who can't hit a designated hitter. But at least this way Anderson would only be hurting the Angels when he's at bat."
So yes, wouldn't you know it that Anderson goes out and sticks his foot firmly down Keri's throat. Jonah will be tasting Garret's heel for weeks to come after this. If only Keri could write an article on how bad the Braves pitching has been recently...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
That Was Some Bad Timing Mister Keri
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1 comment(s):
I'm not a professional baseball writer for ESPN or anything, but even I can tell you that the Sox went after Gagne because Okajima is entering uncharted territory in terms of usage, Delcarmen is unproven, and Papelbon has been treated with kid's gloves all year. They had the tools to go get the extra arm, so they went and got it.
Seems like kind of a dick move to rag on J.D. Drew for sucking this year (which he has), casually mentioning that he was distracted for awhile by the fact that his 17-year-old son had to undergo surgery, then went right back to talking about who should replace him - and expressing surprise that the Red Sox didn't pick up anyone to take his place.
You know why that is, Jonah? Because they just signed him to a five year contract worth $70 million! They probably aren't going to be in a rush to replace him 3/4 of the way through a subpar season.
Just like ESPN.com probably won't dump you after one crappy column.
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