The Thin Air Does Strange Things

by JA, The Feed

If Tuesday's Brewers-Rockies game was a movie it would have been directed by David Lynch. The starting pitcher for the Rockies was Jason Hirsh, a leading man worthy of Lynch. He is a 6'8", 250 pound Jewish major league pitcher (he and Brad Ausmus formed the first all-Jewish battery since Koufax and Norm Sherry) and Jews that size don't grow on trees. Hirsh was making his first start since coming off the disabled list, he'd sprained his ankle July 2 running the bases, and like Jeffrey Beaumont it wasn't long before he found himself in a world of trouble. J.J. Hardy, the second Brewer hitter, lined a ball off Hirsh's right leg. It ricocheted to third baseman Garrett Atkins who threw Hardy out and disaster was averted...almost.

It turns out that Hirsh's leg was broken on the play, a fact that didn't stop him from pitching six innings and earning a win in the 11-4 Rockie victory although it did cause another strange play in the third inning. Hirsh drew a walk from Chris Capuano and was promptly picked off first base. He claims it wasn't on purpose but baserunners with broken legs that they don't know about tend not to fare all that well when leading off of first base. Hirsh wasn't the only victim of bad luck.

As in Lynch's Elephant Man, there was also a tragic-John Merrickian figure in last night's production. Edwin Bellorin signed with the Dodgers as a 16-year old out of Venezuela in 1998 and slogged his way through 1823 minor league at-bats before he finally got a call from the Rockies to replace the slumping Chris Ianetta on August 6. He was making his first big-league start and in his first ever at-bat in the Show he grounded into a double play. That would be bad enough, except he proceeded to trip over first base and left the game with a strained hamstring. The Rockies put Bellorin on the disabled list Wednesday and with his luck he'll probably only get that one AB before being sent to a freak show in Victorian England.

There was more weirdness. The Brewers scored their first three runs on three sacrifice flies. Rockie rightfielder Brad Hawpe dropped two flyballs, one that ended up in his bare hand and another that fell for an error. Prince Fielder hit a triple. The only way it could have gotten any stranger was if Clint Hurdle managed the entire game with an oxygen mask on his face and a plastic bag over the head of first base coach Glenallen Hill while Todd Helton begged him to punch him in the face.