This Will Probably Kill Me If I Actually Read It

by Davey, Blown Coverage

I'll just come out and say this abruptly. I have a problem with Peter King. Peter's probably a swell guy to be around and he probably spends his free time rescuing puppies and teaching South African kids how to find Iraq on a map, but when he's doing his job and writing about football...it just ends up annoying and confusing me. Much like when I watch Eli Manning try to throw a pass or complete a sentence.

I admit that I'm one of the first to read MMQB every Monday morning, but it has gone from reading it to get valuable football information to just reading it so I have something to ridicule early in the morning. But today he dropped something that might actually cause my head to implode should I take the time and actually read it thoroughly. Peter ranked the top 500 players in football....

Either it's been really slow these days over at SI or Peter lost a bet against his editor because I see no other reason why you would have this man rank 500 players in the NFL. I'm usually not a big fan of rankings because people will disagree with you no matter what, but when you do attempt a ranking of some sort, at least try to be as competent as you can. And that's something Peter lacks severely when he's telling us about his massive airport dumps or about the "10 things I think I might be thinking tomorrow".

Seriously, asking that man to rank 500 guys is like asking to be kicked in the genitals by an angry mule. Then, with your already bleeding testicles, you walk into an Oklahoma bar wearing a Texas Jersey. That's the feeling you will get after Peter is done with this. If you think that he might actually do a good job, I invite you to check out his All-Current NFL Team and his fantasy football team for this season. I dare you.

So yes, I only looked at his top 20 because I'm sure that my brain will give up should I look at every player on that list. I'd have a more pleasant time if I pissed off Rafer Alston than I would if I actually sat through this. And judging by the reader comments on various other sites, Pete's already in mid-season form with this one.