Under Ground Cover Brother: Top 10 Questions of Eddie Griffin's Death

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

I'd like to say that my heart goes out to the friends and family of Eddie Griffin, but that would be a base lie. Griffin's flame-out NBA career became his flame-out life, but it has left behind these, how shall we say, delicate questions.

We're pouring a 40 on the ground for you, Eddie, because you would have wanted it that way -- wasted.

10. Were his hands at 10 and 2, or 12 and 6?

9. With the death of Merv just days before, is there a Griffin Curse -- and could Kathy Griffin (fingers crossed) be next?

8. Did Griffin disappoint the souls in the next world by coming out early?

7. Did the big SUV show a distinctive lack of interest in rebounding from the crash?

6. Is there a way to blame this on Kevin Garnett?

5. Are fellow Seton Hall attendees (note: not alumni) Sam Dalembert, Mark Bryant and Luther Wright relieved to be off the hook forever as least distinguished alumni, or disappointed that they weren't able to match Eddie's lack of greatness?

4. Will Vin Baker, Chris Washburn and Shawn Kemp speak at the funeral, and will it seem like it will be a big event, but fail to deliver?

3. At what point do we get to stop calling Griffin "troubled", and just move on to the final verdict: complete waste of sperm and dignity?

2. Will fantasy basketball owners across the country mark his passing by setting one last amount of money on fire?

1. What was on the DVD player when he crashed?