Well, At Least It's a Good Name

by OMDQ, One More Dying Quail

This isn't really new news - it's been floating around the blogs for several days now - but word has come from Bridget Moynahan herself that the name of the Hercules-esque child she birthed for Tom Brady last week is John Edward Thomas Moynahan.

It's taking some time to wrap my mind around this one - my uncle's name is John Moynahan, and I had considered the names John and Thomas for future offspring of my own. Obviously, that can't happen now...unless I want my kid to live his life like Michael Bolton from "Office Space", with people constantly wondering if he's related to "that dreamy quarterback who led the New York Jets to five straight Super Bowl wins" (why the Jets? Because the football Gods have a strange sense of humor, of course).

And why can't the kid's last name be Brady? My sister has two kids with the same deadbeat piece of shit who can't be bothered to stay out of jail, hold down a job, or pay child support, and both of them have his last name. Bridget's little one was fathered by one of the richest and most popular athletes in the world, and she has to get all Women's Lib on us? Please.

Oh well. The main thing, I suppose, is that she didn't name the kid "Brian" or "Joseph". The first would have totally blown my mind, the second would have just been annoying.

(Editor's Note: The reason the first one would have blown his mind is because then the kid would have had his name and he lives in New England.)