THE DAY IN SPORTS COLUMNS - BEST LINES

by Kyle Smith, Doberman On The Diamond

A look at the best lines from the Monday sports sections.

- Mitch Albom, Detroit Free Press: "If the Lions don't want to be held to previous low bars, they should stop trying to limbo underneath them."

- Bryan Burwell, St. Louis Post-Dispatch: "Offensive coordinator Greg Olson approached this game with the same annoying predictability and passivity that failed him against Carolina and San Francisco. For a change, Olson did remember that Steven Jackson was still gainfully employed by the Rams, but then he forgot about everyone else in the huddle."

- Rick Morrissey, Chicago Tribune: "The good news? OK, the good news. The weather was very nice. Brian Urlacher didn't get hurt. Greenland held off on attacking us for another day. That is all."

- Dan LeBatard, Miami Herald: "You can make a compelling argument the Dolphins are the worst team in all of professional football. And the centerpiece of this offense is 37. And the center of this rush defense is 38. But look at the bright side: The Dolphins spent only $20 million guaranteed on Joey Porter. It isn't the worst investment in the history of spending only because of the existence of Enron."

- Jim Souhan, Minneapolis Star Tribune: "You can't lose this game, can't lose this way, unless your idea of "game management" matches O.J. Simpson's idea of 'career management.'"

- Bud Shaw, Cleveland Plain Dealer: "The Browns' defense? It didn't beat itself. It gave up 186 rushing yards, 171 to Jordan and backup Justin Fargas. Together they enjoyed the greatest land grab since the Gold Rush."