FANTASY FLUKISM: THE TWO-POINT CONVERSION

by wwtb?, Pacifist Viking

It's week one, Monday Night. With 2:00 left, the Ravens are trailing the Bengals by 7, and it's 4th and goal at the one. Kyle Boller completes what the game-tying touchdown pass to Todd Heap...but a bad offensive pass interference call nullifies the touchdown.

You're incensed. Do you give two craps about Baltimore? Of course not. Screw Baltimore and all the Raven fans: what did they ever do for you? You're furious because Todd Heap is on your fantasy team, and those 6 points should have pushed you ahead to a closely contested fantasy football victory. Instead, you lose. Life sucks.

You just got screwed by a Fantasy Flukism.

Football is a game of fluke plays. That funny ball bounces all over the place, coaches and officials and players make wacky decisions, and once you've sent in your fantasy lineup, you're now beholden to all of that. Sure, sometimes you win a fantasy game due to Flukism, but you're more likely to remember--and feel utterly crushed--when you lose a game because of Flukism.

Let's discuss one particularly devestating Fantasy Flukism that can make you vomit up all your morning Bloody Mary right down your shirt (and that stain ain't comin' out).

Coaches Going for Two
In the Seahawks-Bengals game, the Bengals took a 21-17 lead with 2:42 left, and opted for a two-point conversion attempt. Now, I could write a lengthy explanation why kicking the extra point in this situation is the more logical choice, but what's the point? Do you care about the Bengals? Ideally, you don't. But if you had the Bengal kicker on your fantasy team, you lost a point from one bad coaching decision.

Fantasy kicking scores are entirely dependent on the rest of the team's production: that's why a kicker is so frequently a fantasy non-factor one week and a double-digit scorer the next. But the kicker is also dependent on the coach's decisions. And doesn't it infuriate you to lose fantasy points because of coach's decision to go for two?

Yeah, yeah, yeah: it's one lousy point. But that one point, particularly now that so many fantasy leagues use fractional scoring, could mean be the difference between victory or defeat. Furthermore, one bad decision to go for two sometimes requires a two point conversion attempt later in the game, when the team (and your fantasy squad) would be better off

You should never care about your fantasy team's kicker. I've been in a league where we refused to name the kickers: we'd just identify them as "Bengals Kicker" or whatever so that we don't have to bother learning the names of these unworthies. You should always be willing to cut your fantasy kicker and replace him with someone else: your fantasy kicker should be treated as nothing but a mercenary. You can have emotional attachments to the rest of your team, but that kicker is supposed to do nothing but tack on ones and threes to your score while you sit stonefaced watching. And that's why I am totally flabbergasted when my kicker doesn't get to add on one of those ones because the coach wants to go for two.