The Fantasy Football Cheatsheet Twin-Twin Spin

by Andrew, The Grand National Championships

I have saved the best for last. Or at the very least, the crapshootiest. Running Back and Defense. No funny stories. No random segues. Let's just do this as if we were Brutus.

Most of you draft today, right?

Right?

Descending down the ladder of the upper echelon (AKA A necessary runner).

LaDainian Tomlinson scored 30 touchdowns last year. Any further questions of this man's divinity shall be ignored. If you're drafting second you will not get him. But he will be massive again. (Until the fantasy playoffs.) The #2 Pick falls between Steven Jackson and Larry Johnson. Steven was a destructive force to end last year. I mean, he was like the Ultimate Warrior without all the nonsense. He should continue that. L.J. had 370+ carries. L.J. loses two great lineman. If you believe in someone in the second tier of ace? You can gamble with passing on L.J.

I believe in Frank Gore. He may not rush for as many yards, but he will get more touchdowns. He has the durability issue, but a Michael Robinson handcuff takes care of that. Joesph Addai is the early round sleeper that should do well. I don't like him, but that's just me. I'm still bitter over 2006. But in the 4 to 7 range, he's perfectly fine. Shaun Alexander is a matter of personal opinion. If you believe he can bounce back, move him up. If not, he's #6 on the board, and maybe #7 overall.

The Second Tier of Starter.

Rudi Johnson is consistent. He's not spectacular. He doesn't catch passes. But 1300-12 is a good solid number. Laurence Maroney will be the #1 running back in a high powered offense. He's a great home run threat, but Kevin Faulk and Sammy Morris will take away more carries than you think. Willie Parker's oddly underrated. If you are drafting at the turn? Get hype for Willie. He'll make you happy. I mean, he may be a notch above Rudi.

If you are in a PPR league, add 5 to 7 spots for Reggie Bush and Brian Westbrook. They are similar. Lots of touches. Good to great home run threats. But they will not get a franchise back level of carries or scores. Travis Henry sprained his MCL. He's a great fit for any fantasy team. Just prepare for jokes if you draft Tom Brady at quarterback and you've got one of those "comedians" or "Kissing Suzy Kolber bloggers" at your draft.

If Chris Berman was here he'd call this section Dee Feaster "Famine." Sorry,

Willis McGahee is the rough equivalent of fantasy coyote ugly. He's always hyped. And he's never as good as they say he is. Let your draft's drunk guy have him. Maurice Jones-Drew? Winning the Turnover Battle says it better than I ever could. He's also shaky. Edgerrin James is behind a bad offensive line. It's better than last year, but it's not Indy style good yet. He's just a solid #2. Ronnie Brown is being pressured by a guy whom was out of football because he loved the crunchwrap supreme. It is time for him to put up or shut up. He will not be the 16th best running back at the end of the year.

Brandon Jacobs has the starting job all to himself, but does a 6'4", 265 pound man wear down faster? Perhaps. Despite that, he'll get his scores. Only question is how many yards. Thomas Jones is in a pretty good situation. He'll be a good threat for 1000 yards and 8 scores at over 4 yards a pop. I can see him be pretty good. However, his ex-teammate Cedric Benson is just shaky. If you draft him, you should watch Adrian Peterson the Georgia Southern like a hawk. He's the opposite of durable and has never really held a full load.

Inspector Two-Two Stars in: The Case of the Marginal Second Running Back!!!

Every year a rookie usually emerges from the hinterlands to be a great running back. This years candidate is a John Kerry-esque default choice named Marshawn Lynch. He could have Robert Smith levels of skill, or say hi to J.J. Arrington 2.0. You're just not sure. Deuce McAlister is the North-South back. Short yardage in New Orleans? He gets the rock. Jamal Lewis is going to get a lot of carries, and yet he is two years removed from being great. Don't expect a comeback in Cleveland.

As a blogger, you're legally obligated to show a platonic love toward Clinton Portis and as a man? He is still entertaining. However, a running back with bad knees is a sort of disaster waiting to happen. After all, Terell Davis fell off the self-same cliff. Brandon Jackson was supposed to be the rookie running back du jour. However, a bad start for the offensive line and bad luck in the two minute drill have put B-Jax into limbo.

The Third World Running Back

25. DeAngelo Williams (As post-hype sleepers go? DeAngelo is a great play. He is fast and shifty, and if he is your third runner, you are in good shape.)
26. Adrian Peterson (Minnesota should just go to the wishbone. AP's talent is unmistakeable, but this won't have the dichotomy of your short-yardage and between the 20's back. It's just your typical Minnesota RBBC of suck.)
27. Marion Barber III (He won't get as many touchdowns, and he will not get more than 50 yards in many games. He's a plug and play.)
28. Ahman Green (Sleeper in a Points Per Reception league. In any other league, not nearly as much.)
29. Carnell Williams (You call him Cadillac. I call him Carnax, Destroyer of Teams. Unless you're jinxed, than the logic of desperation dictates that he's must have.)
30. Fred Taylor (He's falling off. He's in a running back by comittee. He's injury prone, but he may yet get the magic together. Maybe.)
31. Julius Jones (Know your league. If it's a Yahoo league? Let someone else get Julius. If it's 10 yards or a reception equal to a point? Bump this rank up.)
32. Warrick Dunn (Though if you want Jerious Norwood before Adrian Peterson the Viking? It's acceptable. He's scrappy, even despite the ESPN Commercials.)
33. Jerious Norwood (He is so loved in fantasy his nickname should be Thome. Everybody loves Jim Thome. I know I do.)
34. Ladell Betts (You want value? LaDell Betts could be the greatest mid-round pick of the year. If he would just wear a wacky costume, I'd bump him up to 24.)
35. Chester Taylor (He loses those extra 10 to 15 carries that made him the underrated 6th round pick last year. But if AP gets dinged up, he'll be an instant starter.)
36. Tatum Bell (He calls himself T-Speed. I call him a change of pace back forced into starting. That and he is hurt. He sucks at being healthy.)

The Fourth Running Back Sarcastic Slow Clap All-Stars
37. LenDale White (Clearly, food in tube for has helped him win the starting role. However, it may only be on a week to week basis. Tennessee is tenuous at running back.)
38. LaMont Jordan (Running backs, coming off of knee injuries, never do as well as they could, though these first four games LaMont is in fight for what's right, fight for your life mode. But is the risk worth the reward?)
39. Chris Henry (He could be on a LenDale White road for this season. But the value is there. Chris Brown's just going to get hurt anyway. We know this.)
40. Vernand Morency (All I'll say is that when the Packers O-Line finally jells? Morency could be running for them. He's got decent late round value.)
41. Michael Turner (The necessary complement to the LaDainian Tomlinson owner. He is the lojack to the LT Playoff berth.)
42. Mike Bell (Hello Travis Henry knee injury. Hello early starting job, hello dance of the sugarplum Shanahan jerkoff.)
43. Kevin Jones (He will win the strarting job after he gets off the PUP list. HOORAY STASH PLAY!)
44. DeShaun Foster (Who better than DeShaun Foster? Everybody. He may yet survive to annoy DeAngelo Williams owners, but I say not this year.)
45. Adrian Peterson (Do you believe in Cedric Benson? If not, than Adrian Peterson makes an awesome spec play.)
46. Leon Washington (He's going to be a solid change of pace. And if Thomas Jones gets hurt, he'll be a pretty okay running back.)
47. Sammy Morris (Necessary Laurence Maroney insurance. He'll get himself a power running carry or two.)
48. Reuben Droughns (He's back at fullback. He;s strictly Brandon Jacobs insurance at this point.)

The Running Back Roster Filler Champagne Jam
49. Dominic Rhodes
50. Maurice Morris
51. Anthony Thomas
52. Brian Leonard
53. Michael Pittman
54. Ron Dayne
55. T.J. Duckett
56. Najeh Davenport
57. Lorenzo Booker
58. Correll Buckhalter
59. Michael Robinson
60. Kevin Faulk

Anyone who says they can predict defense is lying to you. You will not know how your defense is until October. In turn, this will be an analysis free speed run.

If you are desperate, andrewrosin@gmail.com can give you more analysis as I am okay to answer questions if y'all must ask them.

1. Baltimore
2. Chicago
3. San Diego
4. New England
5. Denver
6. Miami
7. Jacksonville
8. Minnesota
9. Philadelphia
10. Pittsburgh
11. Dallas
12. Green Bay
13. Carolina
14. Oakland
15. Seattle
16. San Fransisco
17. NY Jets
18. NY Giants
19. St. Louis
20. Indianapolis
21. New Orleans
22. Buffalo
23. Atlanta
24. Cincinatti
25. Arizona

There. I'm done with Fantasy Football. But...what am I going to talk about now?

Eep. Oh no! Out of ideas!