HOUSE OF MIRRORS: WHAT TO DO WITH #756*

by DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap

History is full of great debate. Questions that remain unanswered like "what came first the chicken or the egg?" or "can you get pregnant through anal?" Luckily for you - the huddled masses - Epic Carnival is here to settle these arguments once and for all. House of Mirrors is your favorite Carnies taking a look at one another and debating the mysteries of the universe. This week the EC writers debate "What should Marc Ecko do with Barry Bonds' #756 home run ball?"

DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool: He should artificially increase the size of the ball, because More Ball is Good, so that it entirely fills Pac Bell Park.

Then, it should be mounted there permanently, so that the Giants and their fans can better appreciate their decision to contribute to history.

Also, Bonds should be forced / allowed to play for the Giants for as long as he likes, at his current salary level or better.

After all, More Ball is Good. It's only right.

Simon, SimonOnSports: I think he should brand it with an asterisk then give it to the hall of fame to encase in a urinal with the ball semi exposed with a plastic covering. So that every generation of fan can urinate on Barry Bonds record.

Sorry females... Maybe they can encase 755 in a little pop a squat chamber in the ladies room.

Sterling Gould, More Credible: Is there any way to launch the ball up Barry's ass?

DCScrap, Our Book of Scrap: I think Ecko should take the ball and stick a syringe into it, then tell the Hall of Fame that they can only have it for display if they keep the syringe in place. If that doesn't fly then he should tell Barry that he can have have it if he admits that he cheated to reach the record. And if that doesn't happen, he should simply take a dump on it and throw it into the Hudson River.

WCK, 100% Injury Rate: Give it to me, I'm $750,000 in debt.

Rupert, Ghosts of Wayne Fontes: Give it to the winner of the first annual Kenny Mayne Kayak olympiad.

BD, Sports Show On Mute: Send it to the hall of fame with or without the branding. As tainted as it is it should still be in the hall.

Don, With Malice...: Mount it on a keyfob and send it to Sadaharu Oh.

BOHChris, Blog of Hilarity: He should sell the ball to someone else. Then they should use the ball to turn people's contempt for Barry Bonds into a meaningless publicity stunt.

Oh.