Introducing Tips from Liston

by Liston, Introducing Liston

On account of how successful I am at life (I have a blog, I rent a car, I have a large collection of baseball cards, and I have a prepaid cell phone) I feel obligated to share my steps to success with you. Starting today, once a week I am going to give you a tip. I'll call it "Introducing Tips". It'll be the first weekly feature I have done and I am happy to start it here.

This week's tip: Scoring a babe's phone number.

Surprisingly, scoring a babe's number is something that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. That's what ol' Uncle Liston is here for. After you read this you'll be the king of scoring babes' numbers. It's easy. Just do this:

1. Stroll up to a girl at a bookstore or something. Make sure you're staring at her hard the whole time your walking towards her because girls like when you make them uncomfortable. Make sure you walk slowly. (It makes you look sexy. Like a music video in slow motion. If she starts to walk away then you should sprint as fast as you can to get in front of her. Girls think that's sexy too.)
2. Stand real close to her face, like 10-12 inches away.
3. Just stare right in her eyes for like, 45 seconds without saying a word.
4. Now she's ripe for the picking. Time to go in for the kill. Throw one of these killer lines at her:

• I want to make love to your heart, emotionally. Not literally of course. (Girls like all that emotional stuff but they usually need you to explain to them when you're speaking in figuratively. This is a guaranteed homerun.)
• If I was your boyfriend I'd appreciate you. I'd appreciate you all over your face. (At first a girl will get mad when you say this but then she will realize it's a metaphor and then she'll get impressed and think you're smart.)
• Oooh, honey. If I had a baby with you I'd try to at least make half of the child support payments. (This one works really well with the black and Mexican girls.)
• Man, your body totally makes up for the way you smell. (This one works really well with Indian babes.)
• Damn, baby, you're beautiful. You could be my partner on Beauty and the Geek. Geeks have 9 inch wangs, right? [wink at her] (Girls like to be called to "baby" and like 9 inch wangs so this is a double decker of attraction. This is like one of those fishing lures that has more than one hook on it. Don't be surprised if a different girl overhears you say this and then both girls take you home and give you sex.)

As usual, these are all proven by science to work. Email me and let me know how many babes' numbers you score.