KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? ORANGE YOU GLAD I EGGED ALL OVER YOUR FACE?

by Stamos, Brahsome

Lets play a quick game of 20 questions, shall we? This man is the coach of a team with pre-season national title aspirations- this could be several people. This coach has a Heisman hopeful for QB- this could be at least 5 or 6 fellahs. This coach is in charge of one of the most prolific offenses in the nation in a relatively weak conference- this might narrow it down a bit. The former coach of this team left for greener pastures last year, but this coach was one of the big-time up and comers from a lesser conference, and he should be able to take the reigns and keep you on top- only a couple guys come to mind. He's the coach of a team that, despite getting better than 550 yards in the air from their Heisman-candidate QB, couldn't sneak out a win at home against a winless 36.5 point dog- Ahh. Way to be, Steve Kragthorpe. You're the next contestant on "Will Someone Please Pass A Tissue? I Seem To Have Egged All Over Myself." Come on down.

So, my fellow Appalachian State grads and myself are still having wet dreams to scoreboards reading 34-32. However, after the loss to Wofford this past weekend (which, by the way, proves that NC State is better than Penn State. Just work that transitive property out- NCSU > Wofford > App State > Michigan > Penn State. Harrison Beck for Heisman!!!), Cinderella switched out her ruby reds for a pair of orange Keds. Syracuse, who had scored a grand total of 32 points in it's previous 3 games against Washington, Iowa, and Illinois, racked up 34 points against what is arguably the worst defense in the NCAA. The pre-season frontrunner for the Big East conference championship gave up 465 yards and 4 passig TDs while donating 105 yards in penalties to the Orange Club (damn, Syracuse got creative with that athletic boosters club name...). Honestly, if I told you a top-25 team played at home against an in-conference dishrag, and had over twice as many first downs, more than 6 minutes additional time of possession, and the dishrag had 12 penalties for 96 yards while the top-25 teams QB threw for 555 yards and 4 TDs, you'd think they'd have had a decent shot at a W, right? Wrong. This game wasn't nearly as close as the final score even made it seem. Two quick TOs from Cuse in the last few minutes which both resulted in scores were the only thing that even made this look respectable- er, as respectable as a home loss to a winless doormat can be.

So, we turn our attention to Kragthorpe. Nice work, brah. You ended the nation's longest home win streak. You've helped architect the worst defense in the nation. "We had too many penalties and too many turnovers and you can't expect to do that and win," Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe said. Well, there's that. Then there's the idea that your opponent also had 2 TOs and had only 1 less penalty. What about that time when you gave up 465 yards and 38 points to SYRACUSE?!?!?!?

Remember when Kragthorpe was dominating everyone at Tulsa- when he was putting himself on the map as a future huge-time D1 coach? Oh, wait. At Tulsa, he was only 29-23 in years. Now granted, that same Tulsa team had lost 21 of 22 prior to Kragthorpe's hiring, but 29-23 isn't world beating. Anyone remember Chuck Amato's record in Raleigh after 4 years (34-17)? What about Mike Shula's record at Bama after 4 years (26-23)? "We're going to continue to work hard and find a way to put us in a position where we can be successful and find a way to get it done." Sounds alot like John Bunting, who was unceremoniously shows the door at UNC last year, what with the 'get it done's' and the like. Louisville enters week 5 of the season ranked 90th in the country in total defense and 104th against the pass, and Andrew Robinson, Cuse's QB, averaged nearly 25 yards a completion last weekend. Maybe Kragthorpe can rally his boys, and they can win at No. 5 West Virginia, No. 18 South Florida and No. 24 Cincinnati and at home against No. 10 Rutgers. Or maybe they'll blow the whole year. Either way, we've got to say that Louisville looks to be every bit as much as flop as Michigan so far, and Kragthorpe doesn't have a national title ring from a few years back to hang his hat on.

So, we offer congratulations to you, Steve Kragthorpe. You've done got eggs all up on your face. Would you care for a glass of orange juice on the side? Oooh, too soon?