MJ IS THE NEW TRAVIS HENRY

by Sterling Gould, More Credible

"His Holy Airness" is in a bit of a jam right now. As you can see in the photo attached, Jordan seems to be saying "wtf?" or "que pasa" for our Spanish readers. There is speculation out there that Jordan has had a mistress (completely shocking, I know!) over the years and now she's given birth to what she claims to be Jordan's child:

I have a child and I am trying to establish paternity ... and I named [Michael Jordan] as the father.... he and his lawyer did not cooperate with the proceedings ... [Michael] and his lawyers are blocking me from doing what is well within my rights as far as the law.

I am hurt, confused, and pissed off. It is like they are avoiding the issues with me and MJ could face serious legal issues if I take him to court.

Travis Henry was not available for comment or to give advice on the matter.

By the way, I'm pretty sure this is my second straight on babies... which is really discomforting. I want to confirm, I am not a pedophile. I mean, I don't even like babies. They don't provide anything for this country except the consumption of resources and bad smelling households. They're f*cking slacking. They can't go to work, or eat a cheeseburger, or grow hair on their chest like us men do.

Grab a shovel kid and dig me a hole or something. Show me you're going to be somewhat productive, or I'm dropping your powdered ass in a dumpster.

And all joking aside, dumpster babies are NOT cool.