Now This is a Good Idea

by Kyle Smith, Doberman On The Diamond

A few days ago, I brought you the tragic story concerning the South Pacific Games' ban on bikinis for female beach volleyball players.

It seems at least one writer concurs with my thesis that bikinis and volleyball go together like Red Bull and Vodka. Joe Santoro, a sportswriter for the Lahontan Valley News (Nev.), offers this note in a recent article:

"Former Wolf Pack volleyball players Suzanne Stonebarger and Michelle More are making quite an impression on the beach volleyball circuit. The two teammates are now known as 'Team Gorgeous' and are opening eyes all around the AVP Tour. What should we learn from all this? Well, bikinis on all Wolf Pack volleyball players would certainly boost ticket sales."

And wouldn't you know it, these two have quite a following. And for good reason - this picture may help to explain why. Bikini bottoms with your names on the butt are always a crowd pleaser. Not to mention the fact they are sponsored by OP (recommended picture to view), which is apparently a big deal in beach volleyball.

But back to Mr. Santoro's idea. It seems as if the Nevada Wolfpack volleyball team has plenty of good candidates, and they should jump on this idea. Think about it. If the trend catches on, women's volleyball would be the highest revenue sport in college athletics.

And that money could be put to great use in building libraries, classrooms and other necessities in universities across the country. So do yourself a favor and write to your local institution's athletic director, demanding this change.

Really, it's your moral obligation. Unless, of course, you are anti-education and want to see America's college students fail. Basically, if you don't support this idea, you might as well go out, kick puppies, club baby seals and steal wheelchairs from the smelly old people who need them. Do the right thing. Vote bikini. Jesus would.