THE PROPHET'S TUESDAY TAPOUT

by The Prophet, ProphetFighting

This is the first installment of what I'm calling "The Prophet's Tuesday TapOut". At least I'm calling it that until/unless I come up with a better title. The basic idea is that I'll provide a recap of what's going on in the boxing/MMA world.

In a week that provided what is essentially the "perfect storm" for smart assed sports bloggers--OJ Simpson allegedly "retrieving" some of his memorabilia from a deal at gun point (including, ironically, a photo of "The Juice" with former FBI honcho J. Edgar Hoover)--imagine my surprise that one of my fellow Carnival inmates posted something about the hot chicks of MMA. I had planned on that being a primary subject of my first post all along so kudos to Kyle Smith for setting the table for me.

THE PROPHET ON WOMEN'S MMA

I've been a boxing fan all of my life, and a MMA fan since Royce Gracie ran roughshod over the competition at UFC 1. That notwithstanding, I've always hated women's boxing. Now I don't have an issue with women boxing--if that's what they want to do, more power to them. Nor do I have some antiquated parochial aversion to seeing women punch each other. I've always hated women's boxing because a) most of them are gnarly looking. Brutally gnarly looking. b) There is little technical skill on display and c) most women's boxing matches are listlessly conducted one sided mismatches. Basically, the way that women's boxing works now is that a big "marquee name" like Laila Ali beats up on some overmatched truck stop waitress. Ali may or may not have decent technical skills, but you can't tell due to the level of competition she faces.

That brings us to Showtime's debut Elite XC MMA show, which was held this past February. On the card was a matchup between Julie Kedzie and Gina Carano, and I approached this fight--billed as the first nationally televised women's MMA fight--with a great deal of trepidation based on my experience with women's boxing. To my surprise, the two women tore down the house and put on the best fight on the card. Neither were exactly Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira when the fight went to the ground, but both had solid striking skills (both are trained in Muay Thai kickboxing). More importantly, they were both very attractive and went at each other like a couple of rabid wolverines. As I wrote at the time, the impressive thing was after the bell rang I reacted to the fight like any other fight--only the competitors happened to be pretty women.

So from the standpoint of a longtime fight fan I have to say that women's MMA "works" for some reason. Maybe its the fact that the promoters have put together competitive fights as opposed to one sided set-ups. More likely, however, its because the chicks are hot. Which leads us to....

MMA ANNOUNCER PULLS A MOVE FROM THE DRUNKEN JOE NAMATH PLAYBOOK

The highlight of "Broadway Joe's" NFL career was no doubt his Superbowl III performance as the New York Jets upset the heavily favored Baltimore Colts. His post-retirement high point is very likely his apparently drunken come-on to ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber where Broadway Joe slurs that he "doesn't care about the Jets" because he "wants to kiss" the comely Kolber. Click here to relive that magic moment.

A similar incident happened on Saturday's Elite XC event during a fight between Gina Carano and Tonya Evinger. Only it was a guy considered one of the top announcers in MMA pulling the gaffe, not a boozy retired QB. And Showtime's Mauro Ranallo was after a lot more than a kiss from the attractive Carano. Plus, he didn't have the excuse of being drunk.

The sexual subtext of the fight turned ugly from the beginning when Evinger--who, to put it nicely, is something of a "tomboy"--suggested in the prefight press conference that she'd like to "make out" with her opponent but that in lieu of that would just "knock her out".

Mauro Ranallo was eluding to those comments during the fight and apparently got a little too excited about the prospect of hot girl on girl action. Color analyst and former pro wrestler Bill Goldberg tried to reign him in, but made an unfortunate choice of words as he commented that "I’m not going to touch that one with a 25 foot pole, Mauro".

Rather than return to the matter at hand--calling the fight--Ranallo took the opportunity to bring his "skin flute" into the conversation with his response: "I’d like to touch it with a 25 cm one but instead we’ll just call the fight." At least he didn't sell himself short--for those of you not familiar with the metric system Ranallo would have us believe that he's packing 9.8" of "man meat" beneath his Men's Warehouse trousers.

Obviously this comment was inappropriate and all of that, but you know that you're really out of bounds when a former pro wrestler serves as a bulwark of journalistic good taste. No comment or apology so far from Ranallo, Goldberg or anyone else involved. Nor has there been any comment from Carano suggesting that she was impressed with and/or believes Ranallo's suggestion that he's hung like Ron Jeremy You can read about the whole sordid mess here...

ODDS AND ENDS:

Former UFC light heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell makes his return to the octagon against "The Dean of Mean" Keith Jardine this weekend. Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has announced that he's getting into the MMA business. Impressed by the high ratings for MMA programming on his HDNet television network, he's starting his own organization with few details on the particulars. Cuban will be a contestant on the ABC series "Dancing With the Stars" this season. He'll be joined on the show by the "pound for pound" best boxer in the world, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. Mayweather apparently didn't have enough on his plate with a forthcoming fight against Ricky Hatton, and decided to take up ballroom dancing. If "Pretty Boy" takes it seriously, he's in another league in terms of physical conditioning and could actually win the thing. Also in the contest this year is "The Midnight Idol" Wayne Newton.

You can keep up with everything happening in the world of MMA and boxing at ProphetFighting.com