Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: THE TEN KINDS OF SPORTS BLOGGERS

THE TEN KINDS OF SPORTS BLOGGERS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Here's an Inside Baseball kind of post, but after several months of Carnie Exposure, I think I've ID'd all of the types of sports bloggers there is. Check 'em out, and if you are also in This Business of Show, see where you fit in. (For the record, I am all of them. So there.)

10) Titties and Beer. This bloger archetype doesn't want to live in a world without eye candy. He'd also like to remind you that He's Straight, He Wanks, And He Would So Like To Hit That. You can't argue with the traffic numbers.

9) Video Killed The Blogging Star. Can a sports blog exist without YouTube? Let's never find out.

8) Bill James II, Electric Boogaloo. For sheer chick magnet power, nothing beats 2,000 words discussing value over replacement player. Now available in football and basketball, too!

7) Mr. Controversy. Violate social taboos, over and over again. Just make sure to not tear up over the mean, mean comments.

6) Homer The Range. Sing to the choir of your home team. It's especially good if your home team is good and/or hated, but if you can somehow blog in the voice of a terrible team, you do get special points for masochism.

5) Tabloid Love. Is sports really just reality television programming? Why not -- because athletes get arrested more. Let's go the videotape!

4) Aggro Girl. Standing out from the crowd of white, male and heavy, it's the girl who talks about sex almost as much as Titties and Beer. Aggro Girl is simultaneously terrifying and alluring, especially if you're single.

3) Link Whore. Did you know that the sports blogosphere is one big happy family of cross-linked social peace and love? Link Whore does!

2) Inappropriately Personal Man. Can I tell you more about my friends, my wife, my coffee, my dog, my music, or what I've recently found in my armpit? Sure I can. It's all related to sports somehow!

1) The Utter Hack. Prone to formulaic top 10 lists where little, if any, actual creative thought is... and perhaps I've said too much.

17 comment(s):

More Credible said...

I'm lucky I qualify as being #10, 9, 1, but most notably #3.

Sooze said...

Man, great list.

The Big Picture said...

i think i'm No. 10. and maybe just No. 10. maybe I should re-evaluate some things!

JG said...

Ummm... how can you be #4? Just curious...

DMtShooter said...

How curious? Baby needs a new pair of shoes.

MCBias said...

Good work; I have to admit, you covered nearly every type I know. I plead guilty to 9 and 7 on occasion. 4 makes me laugh; well-done. I would nominate one more category; the "Mad Scientist" Blogger, who's always coming up with weird Photoshops, obscure video of Asian nose-wrestling, and odd theories on how various events/leagues should be run.

The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes said...

How about the "This Just In" blogger who "breaks" the stories from Yahoo Sports on a daily basis?

CLARE. said...

I am SO No. 6, but where's "Conspiracy Theory Guy"?

Anonymous said...

lame and hack.

Anonymous said...

I remember the first time this was posted: http://mybrainsaysrage.blogspot.com/2007/07/designing-your-own-crappy-sports-blog.html

Oy, get some original material.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I've ever seen so much ass kissing. I thought this was a sports blog not a gay pride webmag.

Love, X0XOXO's

Anonymous!

Liston said...

^ That's frigg'n funny. Somebody let that guy post something here.

Liston

BD said...

Wait... this isn't a gay pride webmag?

Tim said...

Hilarious. Not sure where we fall... maybe 7...

Jordi said...

Wow, great stuff. But where is the satire blogger? Or the stream of consciousness blogger? Everyone knows at least one of those.

ethanator1088 said...

I just read this for the first time. It all still rings true. :-) Very good post!

ethanator1088 said...

I know I am a 9 and 3. what else am I? :-)


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