TO SAVE THE NFL SEASON, WE NEED ANOTHER HURRICANE

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Three weeks into the season, I'm thinking another hurricane would help America.

What kind of a sick bastard would write such a thing?

A bastard so sick of how splintered we are as a football loving nation - thanks mainly to our ineptitude in allowing the Patriots to stockpile WMDs and Randy Moss - that we have forgotten who the enemy is.

It is not Brees and it is not Bush and it is not the secondary or Coach Payton or Deuce McAllister's injury or Marques Colston. It is Masshole terrorists who use Billslam to justify their hideous sins, including blowing up point spreads and dreams.

New England has fractured the U.S. into jigsaw pieces of competing interests that encourage our enemies. We are deeply divided and division is weakness.

Most Americans today believe the Saints are not good. Why?

Not because Americans are "anti-Saints."

Americans have turned their backs because the Saints have dragged on too long and we don't have the patience for fantasy league slop. We've been invested in these guys for three weeks, but to some it seems like a century. In contrast, Detroit has sucked at football and been laughed at for most of the last 40 years.

That's not the American way.

In New Orleans, we don't believe our high draft picks are being beaten on the battleground.

It's more that there is no actual "battle." There is the drip of daily injury casualties and victory is not around the corner. Americans are impatient. We like fast food and fast stats.

Americans loved the 2006 Saints. They raged for just 17 weeks while the world howled at Colston being called a tight end.

Payton I did everything right, Payton II did everything wrong - but he did it with the backing of us all.

Because the season has been a botch so far, NFC and AFC teams are attacking one another, when they aren't attacking themselves. The dialog of discord echoes across America. Turn back to Hurricane Rita.

Remember the community of outrage and national resolve? America had not been so united since the first Day of Infamy - 12/7/41.

We knew who the enemy was then.

We knew who the enemy was shortly after the season started.

Because we have mislaid Hurricane Rita, we have endless sideshow squabbles about whether the coaching is working, if we the picks were "safer" now, whether the Patriots should listen in on other teams signals, whether Belichick should detain odd-acting WRs, whether those plotting alleged offenses on Gilette Stadium are serious threats or amateur bumblers. We bicker over the trees while the forest is ablaze.

America's fabric is pulling apart like a cheap sweater.

What would sew us back together?

Another hurricane in an NFL city.

The Miami Dolphins. The Jacksonville Jaguars. The Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers, Baltimore Ravens or Philadelphia Eagles. The U.S. is a target-rich environment for hurricanes.

Is there any doubt they are planning to hit us again?

If it is to be, then let it be. It will take another attack on the homeland to quell the chattering of chipmunks and to restore America's righteous rage and singular purpose to prevail.

The unity brought by such an attack sadly won't last forever.

The first hurricane proved that.

Good night, and good luck.