TOP 10 EAGLES REJECTED "THROWBACK" MOVES

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

This SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY, my increasingly unbeloved Eagles will take their 0-2 record into the Linc for a tilt against those Touched By God Detroit Lions. And just to put a thumb in the eye of the Almighty, along with any other eye they can find, the team is going to roll out the throwback / up monstrosity to the right for us all to enjoy. (H/t, Blown Coverage.)

Which leads to the inevitable question... if this jersey is something they greenlighted, what did they actually turn down?

10) Rolling back concession prices and health inspection practices to 1933 levels (Upton Sinclair books for everyone!)

9) Model T only tailgating

8) Replacing licensed merchandise sales with soup and toilet paper lines

7) A run-pass ratio that would make any kind of sense for a team with a top tier RB and a QB that's coming off major surgery

6) Even one single second of Prohibition, provided, of course, that the drug that was being resricted generates tax revenue for the government, MAN...

5) Gangs of hired goons to beat the crap out of any players who are want to be in a union

4) Replacing the mascots and cheerleaders with minstrels in blackface (finally, Rush Limbaugh can enjoy watching the team again)

3) Substituting Internet access for reporters and fans with up-to-the-hour telegraph updates

2) Leather -- um, actually, ANY helmets

1) Merging with the Pittsburgh franchise so they'd actually have some WRs that don't make the fan base want to move to Oklahoma for a better life as Dust Bowl farmers