Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: TOP 10 NORV TURNER MURDER FANTASIES FOR LADANIAN TOMLINSON'S FANTASY FOOTBALL OWNERS

TOP 10 NORV TURNER MURDER FANTASIES FOR LADANIAN TOMLINSON'S FANTASY FOOTBALL OWNERS

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. In the conservatory, with a lead pipe

9. Spontaneous "Spanners"-style head explosion from the force of millions of minds of pure hate

8. Tossed from a high building that has a tight grid of piano wire strung underneath it, so that his stupid, stupid brain is strained, then left to rain down on the stupid, stupid heads of the Chargers front office that signed him

7. Sicilian-style match of wits where Norv ends things by smashing his own skull in with the goblet by accident

6. We can't reveal all of the details on an advertising-friendly Web blog like this one, but it involves polonium and a ferret

5. Stabbing him 2.3 times in the abdomen, to match LdT's yards per carry this year

4. "Clockwork Orange" style marathon loop viewing of "The Game Plan," "The Replacements" and "The Longest Yard" (remake) until Norv gnaws through his own wrists

3. Gitmo. It's the American Way!

2. Stripped naked and left in an Octagon with a special Lumberjack-style crew of disgruntled Redskins, Raiders and Chargers season ticket holders

1. Tomlinson uses his Jedi Mind Powers to force Michael Turner to strangle him with his bare hands, Sprewell-style

2 comment(s):

More Credible said...

That is hysterical.

Rae Carruth's Trunk said...

I have no sympathy for any team hiring Norv. He was our coach for 7 god damned years and no one fucking noticed he was awful? How about Raiders? Its in the same fucking state!

San Diego gets what they deserve.


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