by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool
In case you missed it, the one-time pitcher had another 2 home runs and 7 RBIs yesterday, giving him more homers for the year than JD Drew. Projected to a full 162 game season, Ankiel would hit 63 HRs with 155 runs scored and 204 RBIs. How is he doing it?
10) Uses a bat that was carved from the part of Tony LaRussa's face that was hit by lightning
9) Other pitchers feel sorry for him, and groove pitches
8) Twitches his nose in a smirky way before every swing
7) Has a golden fiddle in his locker
6) No longer casting a shadow
5) Keeps referencing the book "The Fermata" and laughing
4) Powered by the combined prayer power of tens of thousands of God-fearing men and women
3) Is actually a robot sent back by the future to help stop The Rise of the Cubs
2) Clean-burning, low emission positive karma
1) Has promised a little boy in the hospital to hit "a freaking truckload" of home runs
Friday, September 7, 2007
Top 10 Secrets of Rick Ankiel
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4 comment(s):
He and the New York Post are best friends right now.
11. He's on HGH.
Ironic that you published this mere minutes before the report of HGH came out. Tell me what you are going to do next so I can get a scoop.
HGH makes you heal, it doesnt make you hit homers. this is completely irrelevant to what he is doing today. People just like to piss on your parade.
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