TOP 10 SPORTS BLOGGER EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS (AND ANSWERS)

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Will I never learn HTML? (No.)

9. What if the public finds out that I'm actually doing another blogger or six? (Every sports blogger is doing another one. It's the biggest circle jerk this side of Bristol, CT.)

8. If I don't throw down in a blogger feud, does that make me soft and ruin my street cred? (Yes. But so does a lack of "You Got Served" level dance skills.)

7. Does refreshing my Sitemeter, Adify, YardBarker, Technorati and Ballhype pages 40 times a day make me a hack? (No. It makes you a corporate and attention whore.)

6. What if my boss finds out about my blog? (He or she will probably just steal your best ideas for their own. They'd fire you, but they're already looking for their next job, so they'd rather not bother.)

5. Is mining the same incident for jokes a sign of comic repetition that's necessary to maintain a distinctive style, or is it just that I'm completely out of new ideas? (Neither. It's a sign that you're writing to amuse yourself, and you're an idiot.)

4. Are the people who link to my stuff just using me? (Yes. And laughing about it, behind your back, in all of the best Sports Blogger Parties.)

3. What if that mean Anonymous poster is right -- about *everything*? (They are. Anonymous is the Greek Chorus in the single act tragedy that is our lives. Also, many sports bloggers were English majors.)

2. If free will exists, how come I always wind up writing things in list form? (Because no one comments or reads items that appear in long paragraphs. Take this one, for instance. Once we got past the third line of the sentence, the readership dropped down to the publisher looking for naughty words, the blogger feud guy looking for his name, and the writer. How's it going, fellas? Getting any?)

1. How the hell am I filling the bloghole tomorrow? (It does not matter. All existence is meaningless, death awaits us all, and all of your words will fade from human existence like so many leaves falling to the ground. And also, maybe OJ will do something.)