TOP 10 WAYS IN WHICH ANDREI KIRILENKO'S TRADE DEMANDS JUST DON'T MEASURE UP

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

10. Back and forth calls to Mormon sports talk radio just don't get the same kind of media coverage

9. Instead of committing (alleged) sodomy on a teenager in a resort hotel that led to a ruinous divorce settlement, AK got permission for yearly "road games"

8. When AK fights with the coach, the coach wins

7. Instead of running off the dominant big man in this era of NBA history, AK could only grease the skids for DeShawn Stevenson

6. In Salt Lake City, he could probably go on a 3-day killing spree and not be noticed, or find someone to kill

5. Most NBA fans have trouble telling him and Mehmet Okur apart

4. Kind of hard to care too much about trade demands for a guy that can't stay healthy

3. Fantasy basketball players are just not that big of deal, really

2. Jazz fans know that, for all of his protestations, Andrei could never leave the exciting cultural scence and strong tolerance of alternative lifestyles

1. Try as he may, AK is just not a total freaking loon