Top 5 First-Time Lambeau Field Observations

by DMtShooter, Five Tool Tool

Author's Note: Your tool of a correspondent made his first road trip to the Frozen Tundra yesterday. A more full travelogue is in the works on my own site for later this week, but here's the quick and dirty for now.

5) High school cheerleaders. The Packers do something cute, rather than go with the standard bevy of pole dancers; they give the cheer leading duties to a rotating group of earnest and limited high school cheerleaders, complete in their own regular uniforms.

This works for the following reasons -- Wisconsin is too conservative for exceptional tittie, it's really a small town vibe which makes the local cheer teams more appropriate, and 94% of the adult women in Wisconsin are morbidly obese. So the kids are a win for everyone, really.

4) Steal this town. Green Bay packs in 70K people from a town of 100K, and while we are sure that people come from distance, the simple fact is that most of the people in town are at the game. So why don't thieves descend on the place during game time? Because that would imply (a) that there is anything in Green Bay worth stealing, (b) that thieves are also willing to give up watching the game, and (c) that anyone in Wisconsin has the energy to steal something, without keeling over from the stress heart attack.

3) As God Intended. You want to know the plain and simple truth as to why Lambeau Field is the best? Because the luxury boxes are up where they belong -- up in the sky, far away from the actual game. Amen, Green Bay. Amen.

2) If here, why not everywhere? There could be, literally, hundred of pro football teams in this country. When you walk to the stadium, it's literally in people's back yards -- and your best bet for parking is to put it in someone's front yard for $10 to $20. If a community that's so small that the airport is nearly off everyone's radar can have an NFL team... anyone can, really. And probably should, if only for the ultimate fantasy football hell this would cause for nerds.

1) Brett Favre Worship is a media myth. Sure, they cheer for him and wear the jersey... but it's not abject, and most Packer Fans seem eager to turn the page to the next era. It's unlikely that they will ever boo him, but don't believe the hype -- they don't love him unconditionally. Too many picks.