Epic Carnival | Where Sports and Pop Culture Collide: Uses for Trail Blazer Season Tickets

Uses for Trail Blazer Season Tickets

by The Original JD, Six Pack Sports Report

When the 2007 NBA Draft Lottery took place as a Boston Celtics fan there was only one thing that would make the disaster that was the '06 season worthwhile - getting the #1 pick and watching Greg Oden dominate the paint for the green until I had grandchildren. Of course that fateful night has been erased from my memory by a chemical mixture of oxycontin and kangaroo blood however I do know that the people of Portland, Oregon rejoiced in their good fortune when Greg Oden was made the #1 pick in the 2007 NBA Draft for the former Jail Blazers.

There was a risk - Greg Oden was roughly 37 years old and he played his only season of competitive basketball with an injured wrist. Few would argue that he wasn't worth the #1 pick and even after an injury during the Las Vegas Summer league most people anticipated Oden being a force in the middle for Portland this coming season. Well you can forget that because Greg Oden underwent micro fracture knee surgery today and will most likely miss the 2007 - 2008 NBA Season meaning Milovan Rakovic the last player drafted in 2007 will play 100% more basketball then Greg Oden this season. Fear not though loyal Portland fans as I am here to supply you with some helpful tips on what to do with those 2007 Portland Trail Blazer season tickets that you bought after draft night.

10. You could always fasten the ticket stubs together to form a fashionable umbrella for the 153 days per year when there is precipitation in Portland.

9. Finally you have a way to plug that leaky garbage disposal.

8. As the standard bearer for strip clubs per capita the fine ladies of Portland's nicest establishments will accept ticket packages over dollar bills until after the All-Star break.

7. Some of Portland's most famous microbrews have a secret ingredient - Trail Blazer ticket stubs.

6. The Portland Naughty Dogs will honor Trail Blazer tickets for admission.

5. Unused tickets are perfect for rolling marijuana cigarettes kids!

4. String every ticket together to form a movie screen in your living room and watch your DVD of the 1977 Trail Blazers NBA Championship.

3. You could always just go to the games to see if Zach Randolph does anything crazy...um I mean who doesn't love Channing Frye?

2. At least you're guaranteed tickets to the Sonics game when Kevin Durant comes to town.

1. You might just want to use the tickets to slice your wrists and get it over with.

1 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

Celtics still suck. Oh, and learn to spell.


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