ANDRE WOODSON IS NOT A REAL AMERICAN

by Andrew, The Grand National Championships

So it was a long time ago that Andre Woodson was so beloved in the state of Kentucky the Democrats were going to put him up for a Senate Seat against child molesting (metaphorically) Senator Mitch McConnell. He was masterful in a performance against then #1 LSU and everybody loved him. (Insert Raymond of the SEC reference here.)

Last week came Florida. It was Woodson-Tebow I. It was supposed to be a classic, and while it was not the shootout you hoped it was (thank you, Percy Harvin,) it was top-notch pigskin hurling. In fact, some would say that Woodson came up larger than Tebow. It was just that Andre did not have near the backup.

But the big dreams came crashing down. He wasn't the Heisman Favorite. UK was out of the drivers seat of the SEC title game. Everybody was talking about the itinerant Gillespie boy finally reaching the hallowed grounds of Rupp arena.

Andre Woodson was old hotness. It hurt inside. He had to take a stand. He could not hide. They hurt his friends. They hurt his pride.

He had to be a man. He could not let it slide. If Andre was going to be a man of the people, he would need a big performance versus the opportunistic Mississippi State Bulldogs. The Starkville kids caught Auburn after South Florida went all boom, superkick on their candy asses. And the opportunity bell was ringing in Lexington.

Andre Woodson's final line? 24-42, 230 yards, 2 TD, 3 INT. All the little Woodsonmaniacs are now crying in their cereal bowls.